Holding On For Dear Life
by duaedenateist
Summary: She wasn't raised to be with Oliver or with the team, now she understood it. She never should've felt like she had belonged because she didn't.
1. Realization

I'm gonna babble here so skip if you don't want to read it.

I'm not much for depressing fics, not much into writing it anyways but I had a few comments about a profile photo with my face in it. It was in whatsapp. Dude I was only smiling really. I'm still angry and I want to sob but hell no will I cry for that reason. One of my so called friends said 'stop putting on rape time smile and answer my messages' he happens to know my sensitivity when it comes to that subject. I whooped his ass more times than I can count about that subject. Anyways I blocked the sicko, so point is I'm having low self-esteem moments and I have a terrible headache. Also yeah I changed my photo, I put a judgemental Cersei and changed my status to Hear Me Roar because if someone dared to give me one more stupid unwanted comment I'd probably have their head stick up in their ass.

Yeah I'm still furious but still no tears. God, someone clap me.

So let's hope for our sake that I'm not Willy Wonka and how I feel doesn't affect the product.

* * *

Felicity eyed her closet slowly, she didn't feel like pink nor orange. She felt like grey, she felt like flats, she even felt like naked lips today. She pulled out her dark grey mid thigh sleeveless dress. Pulling her hair in a pony tail she inspected her skin, usually she didn't need much concealer even though she worked late night and had 2-3 hours of sleep. Her body had adjusted to her bad life choices over the years but today she looked like shit to herself. Her skin seemed irritated, red around her nostrils, pale until it reached to her under eyes. It literally looked purply blue in her under eyes but she couldn't get herself to joke about being a crack head.

That morning, Felicity didn't have her carefully prepared breakfast, she didn't put on her strictly set up bright lipstick. Her nails seemed out of place with her dress so she took off the yellow paint.

Felicity was late that day. No breakfast, no make up but she was late. She wanted to go back the way she came when she saw Isabel in Oliver's office. Quickly putting her things down and starting her computer, she suddenly froze realizing that she wasn't humming a song under her breath, even she didn't know what was up with her. Maybe this was just a bad day, the one she never had for the last ten years. Yeah, she had bad days of course but that never made her light less bright. Until now.

Rochev walked out of the office, Oliver right after her, she turned to her monitor, desperately trying to avoid the evil woman. But Isabel stood in front of her desk and cleared her throat, "Clear Oliver's lunch plans for today, Miss Smoak. And Oliver, you might want to warn your secretary about the time." She gave one of her cold smiles and left.

Felicity was aware that Oliver was standing before her desk but she didn't raise her head to meet his gaze. "Felicity?"

She ignored him and reached to her tablet to do what Rochev wanted her to, she came into a halt when she realized that Oliver's lunch plans included her. She had left a heart and a smiley face, she pushed her thoughts away on how she forgot that and changed the plans to Rochev. Without glancing his way, "Where do you want the reservations?" she asked him.

"Felicity, can you please, at least look at me?" He sounded worried but Felicity could pick the anger in that voice, knew him enough to detect that.

She raised her head and looked at him, tablet still in hand, lips pressed tightly together. Oliver took in her appearence, he had never seen her like this for 2 years. They spent ever day and night together for 2 years and that morning he saw a side of Felicity he had never seen. He just blinked a couple of times and asked softly to not to offend her, "Rough night?"

Felicity would give him a smile, she would make a joke, she would at least babble about how every night was actually rough but she just said, "Yeah, where should I make the reservation?"

Oliver opened his mouth to comment about her state but Felicity's eyes kept avoiding his and he knew better than to push, "Where ever you want."

Felicity worked the day in a blur, she kept taking coffee from downstairs because she had actually broken the coffee maker they had and didn't let anyone to replace it. She didn't get any lunch until Digg came and handed her a sandwich, he didn't make any comments about her look either. Felicity knew they would wait for tomorrow, they would give her time to get herself together. If she failed then they would say something.

After work she went home and took a shower in the hopes of getting a bit better but it didn't worked. She put on a pair of jeans and a cozy sweater, forcing herself to put on some make up so she wouldn't attract Sara and Roy's attention too.

She couldn't name what she was feeling and nothing in her life had bugged her more. Unknown had always haunted her but this was new and it was not welcome.

Felicity reached the lair and started her usual checks over the city, Oliver was out patrolling with Sara and Roy when she detected a burglar alarm close to Oliver.

"Oliver, Madison Street, 2nd house on the sought side. Burglar alarm."

"On my way."

A few minutes later Oliver reached the place and sneaked into the house. Sara and Roy had stopped patrolling their zone and created a wide perimeter for Oliver.

Unfortunately the burglar was quick and he got out of the house before Oliver could put him down, "Felicity, he's leaving. I left one of your bugs on him, I guess. I don't know if it clinged on his arm, check it please."

Felicity immedeately started to check the bugs Oliver had on him to see if one of them was mobile. She found it and it was 2 streets away from Oliver, moving to Sara's perimeter.

"Oli-"

Sara cut in, "No need, I spotted him."

Oliver kept on, "Thanks Sara. It's done, Felicity."

Felicity froze. She felt an unexplainable knot in her chest, right above her stomach. Like something was vacuuming her body to a zero point. She thought that this was the meaning of a black hole. She could hear the voices coming from the comm at the back of her head but she couldn't focus on it.

That was the problem. Oliver fucking and needing everyone else but her. That's why she didn't want to get ready. Why would she? Oliver had stolen her life and turned her into some sort of a girl Friday. She was his EA, she was his IT specialist. She spent every hour of her life with him and since he had to be more than one person for the public he had time to connect with people. Somehow Diggle had managed to do that too but she, she couldn't do it.

She didn't have any life other than this. No parents, no friends, her friendships had faded away a long time ago since she had to ditch them constantly. No one knew the truth except Barry who happened to be in coma.

She was all alone and now Oliver was pushing her away, taking his friendship with him. The speech he gave her after Russia had hurt her, she almost hadn't managed to get herself to private lavatory he had before breaking down. She remembered that day all too well.

After taking the files he handed her she made her way to Rochev's office and delivered it to Isabel's EA so she would avoid any kind of contact with her. But somehow Isabel managed to slip into her view and gave Felicity one of her smug, cold, insidious smiles that made Felicity's blood run cold. Even though Oliver's so called words send her the message of 'you're way too important for me to be with you' she couldn't help but feel like she was below Rochev. Like she wasn't even attractive as her, charming or smart as her. And she knew, she knew she could kick her ass with her MIT degree. She knew she was worth a million more than her with her IT skills that she used everynight to save the people of Starling City. She knew how important she was for the team but none of those knowledge came handy when the tears pricked in her eyes.

She shut the door of the bathroom and before she could even lock it tears started to fall. She managed to turn the lock with her trembling hands as the first shout of cry left her lungs to echo in the walls. She didn't even fall to the ground, she just leaned forward, only the below of her waist supported her as she clinged to the door and weeped. She had no idea how long she took but at one point she knew her jaw started to hurt her, dried tears started to pull at her skin. She had cleaned her self up with wobbly legs and left the bathroom to get her purse, she needed make-up before Oliver saw her or it would end badly for her with his pity session.

Now she knew what was bugging her, after Russia things had changed. He treated her differently, the night she got shot, the way he said you'll always be my girl was humiliating for her. It was a way of saying 'let me tell you how much I care you so I won't be having to lie again'. She wasn't enough anymore and that made her want to scream. Just because she hadn't gone to a tour in Afghanistan, just because she didn't survive in a deserted island, just because she didn't know how to kill, didn't mean she was less insightful than they were.

No it just meant she was not the girlfriend material for the man he loved. Damaged and lethal.

She pushed the tears back as she tried to listen to the comms again. Oliver had delivered the burglar to the police and called it a night. He would never finish so early but tonight he had a warm bed to crawl in.

Felicity didn't wait for his return, she just took out her comm, grabbed her purse and left with a mumbled good night to Diggle.

* * *

I kind of want to write an Oliver confrontation fic to this. I don't know. What do you think?


	2. Struggle

This kinda turned into my story with depression and I had to go back to those days to write this. Unfortunately not a diary person so I can't exactly reach the point of living it. I'm literally looking for songs to put me in a depressed mood so let me know in the comments if you have one.

Hope I won't disappoint you guys, I never tried something like this and we'll see what happens.

* * *

Felicity didn't want to wake up that day. Her limbs felt heavy, her energy was drained out of her. She didn't feel like going to work that day, she didn't even feel like breathing, she just wanted to lay down. She forced open her eyes to see her slightly bitten nails and she felt the horror of it. She was not a fetus sleeper. She would not tuck her body to herself she was a free faller. Also she would not bite her nails, ever. She babbled a lot and people saw her as the nervous IT girl but she was a confident woman, confident enough to call Oliver Queen/Arrow on his bullshit.

Her brain shouted in worry, What am I doing, when did I become this person? What is happening to me! She knew she wouldn't have answers, she knew she wasn't in charge of this but she planned on changing that, today. She pushed herself out of the bed and got in to a cold shower. When she was finished she felt like she could conquer today, maybe just today but today at the very least. She put on a pair of high-waisted skinny black pants and a white shirt with black collar and sleeves, tucked inside her pants. She put on her boots and made her pony tail looking at her face for the first time that morning. This time she would do her make-up like a queen and rock it at the work. After putting up her usual make up she made her way to the kitchen to get some cereal. Fiber was not a joke after all.

Gathering her phone, purse and keys she left her house and got in her car. Opening the radio she almost screamed in excitement to hear her jam, Argonauts by The Little Ones, and sang along to the songs the whole ride to QC. She reached the office better than yesterday ut still worse than her usual mood.

She had to talk to Oliver once, unfortunately. He asked her help on the board meeting and she declined, going against everything she did until now. Oliver look at her confused, it was almost a rhetorical question, he never even thought she would say no. She just forced a smile she thought Oliver hadn't bought and offered him a pathetic excuse. After than she avoided Oliver at all costs. She was lucky the board meeting was taking ages.

She told herself she was still strong, she was managing it better than yesterday.

Truth was; with every passing moment, maybe because Oliver or just breathing the same air as yesterday, her resolve was weakening. She just refused to accept it.

But the day got worse than she could ever imagine. Knowing Oliver and Sara was one thing, seeing it another. Not that she despised Sarah like she did Rochev or Helena but it still sting. She could never feel something bad about her or think it, it just, hurt. It was the thing with this goddamn feelings she had, they were always self-destructive.

She wished she had turned her head back to her screen a bit sooner because the kiss was more than she could take it. Thinking it, assuming it was painful but this, this was crushing her. Now he was with someone he could actually care about and she had nothing but a few stupid handshakes and intense eye contact. He had chose to take Sara to Queen's Gambit, he had chose her over Shado, over the woman that taught him everything. What chance did she have?

Rochev was a one-time thing, she understood it. Helena was his way of redeeming himself which had failed but Sara, she was different. She was a vigilante with him, she was the real partner not Felicity.

She wasn't even as equally important as Diggle who was out on the field to have his back and soon Roy would be too but she, she was replaceable. Yes, she was at the top of what she was doing but she wasn't the only one and she felt like a reliability anytime she tried to imagine herself as the member of the team. How many times had she gotten herself in a trouble Helena or Sara could get away? Even Laurel could throw a few punches but she, she couldn't. It wasn't her. She wasn't raised to be with Oliver or with the team, now she understood it. She never should've felt like she had belonged because she didn't. She was perky for gods sake she wore neon nail polish, why would the vigilante fall for her?

She cursed herself for the self-pity session but she couldn't stop her thoughts. She had no control, no way to switch it off. After seeing that Sara and Oliver leaving at the side of her eye she went to the private loo. She looked herself at the mirror quietly, placing her hands on the counter, the thoughts still threatened to put a tear in her eyes.

She felt the rage then. She was angry because she had no say in the matter. Somewhere along the way she had lost the track of her feelings and now she couldn't even say stop to them. She couldn't even convince herself to stop her self-pitying thoughts goddamn it. If she wasn't going to save herself, who was?

Felicity faced herself in the pier glass, she saw herself breathing heavily, her chest moving up and down. Her eyes red because she was holding back way too many tears, even she didn't know how many. She looked fixed and broken at the same time. She tried to smile, for once in her life she forced a fake smile to her lips and the way it was unrecognizable pushed her over the edge.

Tears rolled down from her cheeks as she reached and opened the faucets to cover her sound. She cried for her crumbled self, to her stupidity, to her blindness to not even realize that the life she led was destroying her. She cried and cried for the love she had and the lover she hadn't.

After she couldn't even breathe with the pain in her throat, she cleaned her face. She rubbed away every bit of make up she had put on and left the room with her worst looking self. She always had a get away plan, she thought she would use it for running away with the team cause of the business but she was all done. She wasn't in the team and she needed to run. Using her standing ticket and Oliver Queen cards she managed to get a flight in 3 hours without leaving a trace, enough time to pack, not enough time for them to know something was up.

She left a pink post-it on Oliver's monitor, "Be back in a few hours. -Felicity."

Felicity didn't know how she made it home, what she packed, how she reached to the airport or how time had passed.

She only knew texting Oliver, "Not coming back, at least not for a while. Sure you'll manage." and throwing her phone to the trash bin.


	3. Drowning

First of all, I want to thank you. I had suspicions about if I could do this story without stupid comments on my profile photos and you showed me that I could. Now for the songs, firstly you should know the songs I put on repeat as I was writing the second chapter, first Aqualung and Lucy Schwartz - Cold, it's from breaking down pt1. I am not much a fan of twilight to tell the truth but I thought to myself who looked like fucking dying and it was Bella, this song plays in the shower scene while she opens the robe to look at her pregnant body and then Edward sees and then I cry. Second The Last Waltz - Oldboy OST. Dude have I cried in that movie, you should totally see The Vengeance Trilogy, it is amazing and has amazing OST's also. Then after a lot of you suggested Evanescence I added my fave song Everybody's Fool too.

To your songs, I loved all of them, as soon as I wrote back to you I put them on the playlist and hit the play. They are incredible, it's a bit scary how we remember the songs that make us cry this much. So, now this chapter will be intense and I think I've babbled enough. Enjoy it!

* * *

Oliver stared at the screen of his phone blankly, he couldn't understand it, his brain refused to comprehend.

He read it again and again in his brain, _Not coming back, at least not for a while. Sure you'll manage. Not coming back, at least not for a while. Sure you'll manage._ After a few moments he started to murmur it.

Diggle, Sara and Roy kept watching him, looking at his phone talking non-sense. Diggle went over him and placed his hand on his shoulder, "Oliver? Oliver what is going on?"

Oliver kept wandering, _Not coming back, at least not for a while. Sure you'll manage._ "What, man, what're you saying?" _Not coming back, at least not for a while. Sure you'll manage._ He kept saying. Diggle ripped the phone away from his hands and read it our loud for Sara and Roy, "Not coming back, at least not for a while. Sure you'll manage."

Sara walked towards Oliver who was staring to the floor without an expression, thinking about the unthinkable, "Ollie? Ollie, look at me. Hey, we'll find her."

Roy scoffed, "No, you won't."

Oliver's head turned to him in a sharp move, "What?"

"That's Felicity Smoak, which team member tracks down people again? You won't find her and that's for the best."

Diggle faced him, "What're you saying kid?"

"I'm saying I knew Queen was self-involved but I didn't expect it from you, Diggle. I'm the newest member of the team and even I can see Felicity's in love with Oliver and she recedes from the team every time he fucks his way around."

Oliver took a step further, "Excuse me?"

Now Roy was angry too and usually when these two went head to head Felicity would be the one to stop them,

"Excuse me? Really? Is that the best you can? Am I the only one who's aware of the fact that Felicity doesn't babble anymore, or she doesn't say inappropriate things on the comm, actually doesn't talk in the comm until it's really needed. You actually didn't wait a confirmation after Sara saw the man and you said Felicity it's done? You have no idea about what she's going through do you?"

Oliver growled, "Diggle, what is he talking about?"

Diggle just turned to him with a disappointed face, he felt ashamed to not see how hard it was for Felicity, "The truth, once you give it a thought. God I can't believe we were this ignorant towards her. What are we gonna do?"

"That decision belongs to the Arrow," Roy said and went to sat chair next to Felicity's.

"How the hell do I find her Diggle?"

Sara cut in, "I'd talk to Nyssa but Felicity shouldn't be on their radar, ever."

Oliver turned to Diggle, "Waller. We need her help."

Diggle nodded, "Let's go."

* * *

Felicity raised her hand as she put one foot in the street. She got in to the taxi and gave the address. It felt like a ritual she had prepared for so long. Fake ID, fake name, fake passport. She was thankful even in her no-brain-work mode she knew what to pack. She reached the motel she had planned on going and basically threw herself in because of the cold.

Her fake name was stupid and cheesy, that was the reason she had chosen it in the first place. Even though she would lose the Felicity Smoak she would always have herself. So she had decided on Feya Shapiro. All jewish names with her initials. She checked in and paid the first week in cash. Grabbing her keys she made her way to the room.

It wasn't a big place or luxurious. This was not a vacation this was a self-inflicted exile and she knew it. Her room was dirty to say the least. The walls had already lost their colour as the dirt coated them just like floors. She didn't even want to guess about the sheets but she had known this. She came here knowing the circumstances, that's why she had brought a sheet and a lot of antibacterials.

Felicity had done the preparation to stay here but she didn't know how long. She didn't know what to do while she was here. She hadn't even packed a book, nor a DvD. She ripped away the sheets on the double bed and put her own sheets. Ripping the old sheet to shreds she took some soap and wetted the fabric to throw herself into cleaning an old motel room.

Cleaning somehow had distracted her, thought bugged her less and less as she kept rubbing the dirt away from the walls, the windows, furniture, everything. Finishing the room she put the pieces of sheet to the trash bin in the bathroom and threw herself to the bed after washing her hands.

She didn't go under the blanket, she didn't take her glasses off, she just turned to her side and pulled her legs to her self. She wanted protest, she wanted to reach the pillow and pull it under her head but before even she could take another breath, she was fast asleep.

* * *

Amanda Waller stood in front of Oliver and Diggle in her expensive suit, "What is it you want, gentleman?"

"Waller, I need you to find someone."

Amanda's eyebrows shot up, "Are you telling me Miss Smoak is unable to do this job? With all due respect I don't think I have an employee that is better than her."

"No, Waller. I need you to find her."

"What happened to her?"

"She left. So please,"

She turned away, "No," and started to walk away but Oliver caught her, "What?"

Mockingbird faced them with an almost sad face, "Look, Oliver. I can't waste my time with this. If she was abducted I might have had a chance but Felicity Smoak can not be found. She's gone."

"No, Waller. She's not and you don't owe me just one, you owe me hundreds so I call in every favor ever, find her."

"Are you sure you want to waste them all in vain?"

Oliver gave her a hard look and Amanda nodded, "Come with me."

Both men followed her as she walked through the corridors with a grace of a woman who owned it. "This is, Maeve. She's my best and you better give her back to me quickly."

Grey eyed woman faced them, her raven hair pinned up with a pencil, wearing simple skinny jeans and a band shirt, she talked in a heavy Irish accent, "Hey,"

Waller turned to her, "Maeve, these gentleman need you to find someone."

She raised up from her seat, "Right, where do we start?"

"Maeve, it's Felicity Smoak."

"She got kidnapped or..."

Oliver said in a low voice, "Left."

Maeve laughed, flashing them her white teeth but her smile faded after realizing their serious states, "Oh you're not joking."

Oliver raised his eyebrow but Maeve wouldn't take the attitude, she just scoffed, "You seriously lack in the brain department, don't you? Do you even realize who Felicity Smoak is? She hacked even our servers, my server the one I designed. The woman is my idol, if she left you're done, compadre."

Waller turned to Oliver, "Have fun." She left the way she came.

Diggle started, "Where do you usually start?"

"Oh, man. We're not gonna do anything my way. We're gonna do it her way. My skills are not enough to take her systems down, after the clock king I have no chance."

"So, what will you do?"

"You take me to her computer and we'll see if she wants to be found."

They moved to the car while Maeve kept huffing and murmuring things under her breath. When they were seated in the car, Diggle asked as he drove, "What do you know about Felicity?"

Diggle knew she was good but she wasn't expecting her to have a name in ARGUS. Maeve sighed out long before she talked,

"Let's see, her dad's unknown. Mother a cocktail waitress, MIT class of 09 and a living legend."

"How long?" Diggle wondered if she had been doing this for years.

Girls started again, "That's the thing. It's not even full 3 years now and she literally crushed the world. She was first seen taking down the SCPD department, at one point I saw her hacking Federals in like half an hour, trust me it's a record. Also I heard this rumor that she hacked into the Guillermo Barrera's phone, tell me it's just a rumor."

Diggle answered, "Nope, I was there."

"Woah man, how did it feel?"

"How did what feel?"

"She hacked into a Triad hitman's phone and you were present. Like do you even realize how hard these things are? It's not the same thing as hacking into someone's Facebook account. They have shields they can take down your computer more over they will fucking trace you down. That's why I'm with Waller, I want someone to take my side when things go south and FBI knocks my door."

Diggle parked in front of the club and they got out, Maeve followed Diggle while Oliver kept walking behind them. He could not believe ow stupid he was. Just because Felicity made it look like it was easy didn't mean it was. He couldn't even read an html code how the hell did he even dare to read that woman's mind. Maeve looked around as she took in the view of their place. She almost ran when she saw the computers, passing by Diggle.

"Oh my god, I knew she would use three monitors and I knew she would use that keyboard, I knew it!" She sank onto Felicity's chair, "God I already feel like happy crying, oh-kay, let's get down to business," She turned to Oliver, "Can you fetch me a packet of Marlboro, please?"

She opened the computers and started to look around when Oliver growled to her, "Excuse me?"

"What? You think I can do this with a bunch of nicotine patches? You seriously need to learn how hard this will be."

Oliver left with a grumble when Diggle sat beside her, like he used to do with Felicity, "So you're telling me she's the best?"

"Look, it's a bit complicated," Maeve kept typing as she talked to him, just like Felicity, "Dude, the people in the cyber world are not like the type you know. Felicity might be perky and adorable on the outside but she was badass in here," She pointed the monitors with her chin, "I'm not saying she's the one and only best but she was one of them. There are people who can even find Felicity yes but you can't work with them."

"Why?"

"Because they're on her side. Those people don't work with authorities. They'll warn her, they'll hide her further just like Felicity would do for them. We don't know each other but we look out for each other."

"How do I know you won't warn her?"

Maeve turned to him raising her eyebrow, "You don't."

* * *

When Felicity woke up it was later that she had expected. The sun was going down and she needed to pee immediately. After taking a shower she left her room to take a walk around the south side of Chicago. She had always wanted to visit this place, eat the hotdog, sit beside the Lake Michigan. She stopped at a café to get herself a black coffee, it was colder than Starling.

She sat at a bench, staring at the water blankly while sipping the black liquid that tingled her tongue with the heat. She didn't even feel the pain of it as she kept thinking. She had left, she had abandoned her life, her team, her name. Now what? What was she going to do? Live a Feya Shapiro. It wasn't even a nice name more over what would she be?

She couldn't get a job, she couldn't hack to have the money and she would run out eventually. If she threw herself to the field again they would notice her, find a way to trace her. She couldn't even think about going back to being Felicity Smoak so what would she be?

She walked numbly to her motel room again, cold was biting her skin especially her little nose. "Not like Russia," she thought. "No cold bit harder than Russia."

Caffeine was no match to the heaviness that pushed her to the uncomfortable mattress, she fell asleep again.

* * *

Maeve was working in vain and she knew it. She had accessed to her computer yes so what? She had no idea about what she had done yesterday after noon. She had deleted everything from the system just like the mirroring one that watched every movement in her computers and tablets. Diggle had delivered her tablet and her computer in QC to her but they weren't as useful as the cigarettes Oliver had gotten her. After deactivating the fire alarm she had bummed one up for her frustration and for bowing down to Felicity Smoak, where ever she was, she had done some good job.

Roy found a black-haired woman in Felicity's chair and almost attacked her for sitting in a chair she didn't belong, "Who are you?"

She turned with a smoke in her fingers, "Maeve. Looking for Felicity."

Roy's chin hardened, "Failing?"

Maeve gave her an amused look, "Epicly."

Roy laughed, "You'd be good friends with Thea, she smokes too, thinks I don't know it."

"Your girl?"

"How do you know?"

"Felicity is sentimental she kept some photos."

Maeve stopped for a second, "Sentimental, that's it."

"What?"

"Think Roy, you need a fake name would you use your initials or not?"

"Not, I don't ne-.. Oh. That makes perfect sense."

"I know, go talk to Oliver to see if he knew about the back up plans."

"Back up plans?"

"Fake ID, passports, standing plane tickets."

She looked up for plane tickets she had used and saw that Felicity indeed had used the flying way but when she hacked into the database she saw the flight records gone.

"Bollocks!"

Sara raced from her training to Maeve, "What happened?"

"She flew to somewhere and got rid of the cuntin' records of the whole flight. Why can't she just leave one effin' trace?" She kept drawing harsh breaths of smoke in to her lungs.

Oliver came back almost running, since Maeve had an idea he thought it would not hit a dead-end, it almost never did with Felicity, "What'd you found?"

Maeve was furious too, "Basically nothing. She flew, yeah but look, she had gotten rid of the flight records before even the plane had departed. I don't even know the number of the plane or the time it has departed, I have nothing. I'm searching for more deleted records now, if we have more then one, we're fucked."

Maeve got up from the chair, grabbing her packet and lighter she turned around to take the stairs, Oliver shouted, "Where do you think you're going?"

She turned with an almost poisoning look in her eyes, "I will calm down, then come back here to fail again. Until you believe there's nothing to do. Because that's the truth. You lost her, it's done."

"Maeve!"

"You're not getting her back Queen!"

* * *

Her scream woke herself. She found herself sobbing and shaking. She had never woke up with a nightmare before, not even as a kid. She had full control of her dreams, until now. Her chin trembled as the wailing sounds ripped out of her throat to meet the air. She had slept with her glasses but now they weren't around. She looked around herself to spot them but with her first move, she gagged.

Rolling down from the bed she rushed to the bathroom and she hit her ching on the seat of the toilet as the black coffee left her stomach. She vomited until she thought the next thing coming out would be her stomach. She flushed and rinsed over her mouth. She reached her tooth brush and put a pea size amount of toothpaste on it.

While she lifted the brush to her mouth, she rocked with another gag, this time it wasn't mouthful. The taste of metal let her know what was about to happen in those unending seconds. Blood hit her sky blue tooth brush.


	4. Take a Look

I can not babble enough about how much I love you, all of you. You might want to listen Skylar Green - Coming Home Pt. II with this. Just a suggestion...

I am loving Maeve and I believe you just might like her too after this chapter.

* * *

5 weeks.

Five excruciating weeks of nothing.

Oliver didn't know how many times he had almost went to Nanda Parbat. He didn't know how many times he almost let Detective Lance know about Felicity.

He hadn't been out on the streets for those 5 weeks, he had sat right next to Maeve as she did the research. He had fetched her cigarettes, food, anything she wanted and he felt like crying as he did. He never did those things for Felicity, he had no idea how important she was for the team. Sara and Roy were out for patrol but the crime in Starling City had increased a terrible amount since she left. Maeve had tried to do Felicity's job a few times but she was slow, more because she was a stranger to Felicity's systems and she had never worked on this side.

Now she was out, she always had a few breaks as she worked towards absolutely nothing, she needed time to breathe and Oliver felt horrible for not seeing that Felicity needed that too. But she never so much as opened her mouth, he couldn't imagine what she went through as she sat on that chair every day and night, she wasn't taking nicotine either. Oliver wondered what made her so alive, since he now knew what was sucking her soul. Oliver was Felicity's dementor and he had never felt that much pain.

He had stopped eating, he just kept feeding Maeve but she was smart and she had given him an ultimatom on eating. She had ordered him to eat because if she had even managed to find Felicity, they all knew she would be in a very bad condition. She had said, "You need to be strong for her, if I somehow manage to find her, not that I have any hope, you need to have power to do your groveling and trust me it'll take nothing less than 10 years," Oliver wanted to tell her, if it meant being Felicity's servant for the rest of his life, he would do that too, but he had kept quiet and forced the food down his throat.

Maeve reached to her phone and called Luce, she answered at the first ring, "What happened?"

Luce knew she wouldn't call if she wasn't desperate, she could be in danger or something and if she had needed help she would get it without the chit-chat. "Calm down, Lolz. I'm fine but I need help."

"Sure, what happened?"

"Felicity Smoak left."

She didn't use the words like abduction or kidnapping, not even missing so Luce was confused, "So?"

"She was in bad condition, mental illness kind of condition when she left and I think we might have lost her. I don't ask for you to find her and get her to Starling or anything I just need a clue."

"Let me check in with some of the guys, I'll come back to you in a few hours."

"Lolz?"

"Fine minutes."

Luce huffed out and shut the phone. She was a powerful woman underground and also she was married to an Italian mafia boss, and she wasn't an eye-candy or anything. They were in love and Luce had a say in the matters just as he did, they were partners. She had connections and maybe she could hear a rumor or something.

Maeve bummed up another smoke as she waited anxiously, her phone buzzed and she opened immediately, "Yes?"

"I found it."

"You found her?"

"No I found a sick fucker who knows where she is."

"How does he know?"

"He has been keeping accounts on her for a few years apparently and he had physically followed her to the airport, made sure his people followed her where she went and he has been taking photographs of her and photo shop the streets so no one would know the city she is in. I found him, I told Nero to bring him in, I'll find out where she is, Maeve."

"Pictures?"

"I can send them to you but.."

"But what Luce?"

"You won't like them."

"What do you mean?"

"You're right she is ill."

"How, explain that Luce."

"She doesn't go to hospital or anything not in the photos anyway, just I'll send them and trust me you'll understand."

"Ok. I'm waiting."

With that Luce shut the phone and Maeve rushed inside, running down the stairs. Oliver came into view instantly, "What happened?"

"We might have found her."

"We?"

"My friends. I had to go to them Oliver, after seeing Felicity's computers, her files, the person she is, I think she is my friend. Now they send photos of her."

Oliver looked at her like she had lost her mind, Maeve sighed, "A sicko was following Felicity, he has been taking photos of her, editing them so no one would know where she was and posting them, not like posting them just to share with his people I guess but Luce found it. Now she is sending me the pictures and finding the guy, you familiar with the Mancini family?"

"Italian mafia?"

"Yeah, Nero is married to a hacker, Luce. She's my friend and I asked her for help. They'll bring him in. They'll find her Oliver."

Maeve opened her mail and found the mail Luce sent her, opening it she came face to face with a woman she couldn't even recognize as Felicity.

* * *

5 weeks.

Five excruciating weeks of nothing.

Felicity had spent 23$ for food in total of a month and a week.

First she had tried to eat it, even after vomiting blood. She guessed that it was because of the acidic liquid she had threw up had somehow irritated her esophagus or something. She didn't go to a doctor, she had fake ID but she just didn't. She had left her hotel room after cleaning it, making her bed like it was her house everyday and hit the bench she sat everyday.

She sat on the same bench for 35 days, pulled her legs to herself and watched the lake. She occasionally cried. Sometimes because she missed them. Oliver, Diggle, Sara, Roy. She missed them, she missed him so much.

She missed his voice, she missed his hair, his rough stubble. She missed the way he said her name and she missed the way he needed her. She missed being needed, she missed being Felicity Smoak. But she hadn't been Felicity Smoak for so long, long before she left Starling.

Felicity wasn't broken, she was strong, she was fun, she was bright. She made people around her kinder just because they breathed the same air as her. Felicity Smoak wore dresses, she wore heels, she carried herself through crowds in them. Sometimes she wanted to hack into the lairs cameras just to see them but she had never dared to do it.

Felicity didn't even know how lost she was as Feya Shapiro. She had lost 20 pounds, most of it from her heart. She had never seen sunshine for over a month. She hadn't been wearing her glasses for the last 12 days, she barely realized. Not seeing it had became her normal, her brain had stopped analyzing, thinking.

She felt so empty, she avoided mirrors, reflections, her soul had left her body, she didn't want anything more than to move past this, see the light at the end of the tunnel, get better. But she had no strength, nothing to pull her up.

Till one late afternoon, she felt the bugging feeling in her stomach. It didn't leave her alone even after she cried her eyes out, tried to eat, take stomach pills and watch the lake in a few hours. So she carried herself to the nearest library. Finding herself a nice, quiet place, she connected to her old services. She knew someone had been there the second she got in and she needed to be quick if she wanted to go unnoticed. Foundry was empty at the moment, so she took the camera records and left the system. She opened it from the day she left and watched it in fast mode, watched everyone lose hope day by day until she had to stop.

It was 5:30 in the morning, 16th day of her leaving. Oliver was in the lair alone. He had looked at her chair for long minutes before he moved in a way that made Felicity almost jump in her seat in front of the monitor.

He punched down the glass that protected his suit, bloodying his knuckles. He knocked down the arrows and bashed his quiver to the wall in a furious motion. His hands reached for the bow but just as he was about to touch it, his hands froze. Then he gently lifted the bow and collapsed on his knees with it.

He started to cry, shaking with the sobs that made Felicity's eyes close in regret that she couldn't help but feel. Oliver cried and cried that morning, as the minuted passed he didn't slow down, Felicity watched every unending second of it for 2 and a half hours and cried with him. He kept looking at her empty chair, holding the bow until his knuckles were white, spilling his tears on it. Sometimes she would catch the shape of his mouth, Felicity.

She watched even more, how he kept sitting all day with the woman that kept smoking and working on her computer. How he paced around in the foundry with his hands on his head, she saw him get worse and worse everyday. At the beginning he was more aggressive, but as the time went on, he had stopped. He stopped eating, he stopped talking. He looked like he even stopped breathing. And the realization hit her.

Is that how she had been? Was her life went on like his did? There was only one way to know. She shut the computer down and rushed to her motel room. Road was a blur. When she slammed the door shut, she took her jacket off, then her t-shirt and tank top. She reached down and took off her boots, sliding down her pants she went into the bathroom and raised her eyes to the mirror.

Her jaw dropped a bit as she took in her own appearance. Her face was basically white, her eyes looked like a dark stain on her skin. Her cheeks had sunk in. She lowered her eyes to see her collarbones popping in a sick way. She saw her bra slightly empty and came face to face with her ribs. She took a few steps back, now she could see almost her knees, her legs looked weak, she had been melting away all this time and the pain in the inside made her numb to the other ones, blinding her eyes.

She collapsed on her knees, just like Oliver had done and tears left her eyes. She leaned forward, supporting herself with her palms pressed to the floor. She wailed like a banshee that night. She bawled and yelled, pressing her forehead to the ground. Oh how she had hit the zero point, how she had felt the bottom, how she had lost everything. Felicity wept the poison out of her, her sadness, her pain for the first time in almost 40 days.

She stood up then, putting on her clothes and grabbing her wallet. She left the motel to find the nearest Burger King. She ordered Big King and her favorite sauces, meaning ranch and buffalo. After paying and taking her tray she went over to a corner to eat most of her meal. She didn't enjoy it a bit and it was hard at first, she couldn't swallow properly, she coughed on her coke more than twice but she finished her burger and slowly chewed her chips one by one while she thought for the first time in weeks.

What would she do? Was she going back to Starling? Her answer was immediate, yes. Was she going back to the team? Yes.

It would be hard, it would be different since they would see her with her new look which was almost incurable. But she wouldn't give up on it. She threw her napkin to the tray and left the place. Hailing a cab she asked to the nearest hospital. It wouldn't be hard to make doctors believe she was about to pass out and it wasn't exactly a lie either.

She went to the emergency room and made eye contact with a nurse as she braced the wall, he moved towards as Felicity let herself down inch by inch every second. Nurse supported her wait as he dragged Felicity to the first empty bed. Felicity let herself on the bed and closed her eyes, letting the sleep take her away, like she had done for over a month.

When she woke up it was 11 hours later, as the watch in the wall suggested in a different room and she already felt better. She hit the button for a nurse and the male nurse who had seen her came, "Oh, good you're awake. First I was worried I would miss you when my shift ended but for the last hour I got worried that you wouldn't wake up at all."

Felicity smiled at the man and the movement felt strange on her lips. She hadn't been smiling for weeks. "What happened to me?"

"You have been losing shit loads of weight, but your sugar level suggested you just ate before you came which is good news, don't think you have eating disorder. Do you?"

"No, I was just, not feeling like eating."

Man just shrugged, "Nah, it happens to all of us sometimes. So you think you can stay in the hospital?"

"I'd rather not. I have to go home."

"But you can come for regular checks right?"

"My home is Starling City."

"Oh, okay but go to a doctor in there okay? I got your prescription by the way, we ran the tests while you were out."

"Alright, am I free to go?"

"Yeah, your serum is done."

Nurse took the needle out of Felicity's arm. She took her prescription and left the hospital after checking her ID and money. She stopped by a drug store on her way to the motel and took the pills they've written for her. They were just a bunch of vitamins but she decided to take them anyway. Anything to get herself better.

She wasn't fully recovered, no, she wasn't even recovered a bit yet but she was determined to do it. She was over her reasons. Oliver had hurt her and she hadn't forget that but she was done feeling bad about it. Yeah Oliver was fucking his way around the city, yeah he didn't belong to her, yeah he didn't love her back so be it. She was done making herself miserable, she was done making everyone in the team miserable.

She packed her clothes, leaving the sheets. She readied the money and left the room. Checking out of the hotel she delivered the money for the unpaid days. Receptionist lady, who was a middle aged, genial woman told her in a sweet voice, "You look a bit better dear. Take care of yourself."

Felicity shot her a smile, "I will. Thank you."

She left and dropped by an AT&T on her way to the airport, purchasing a new phone and ordering her sim card, sweet talking to the guy and making him arrange it for her quickly. She went to the airport and got her ticket to the fly home, in two hours she would leave Chicago. She sat a café and started to orders new paints and furniture for herself.

It was time Felicity Smoak got a revolution.


	5. Bullet

I had one review in ff, one in ao3 about the Felicity's revolution concept. They were about how it was very soon for healing and getting better. Now, since she was deep in all these problems and nothing else, it shouldn't take her any longer than a month to understand her situation. It could be prolonged if she had stayed in Starling and had to act like she was okay for the team but without anyone to pressure her into getting better I think it's easier to realize you hit the bottom.

If we speak on the timeline in the story, I don't want to give Felicity any more time to be alone and run away, not more than 5 weeks. If I had, the realistic thing would be Felicity losing her mind in my opinion because she had no one. Not even one person to say good morning.

And if we talk about 5 weeks in one chapter while the other ones picked up where the previous chapter had left, I can tell you it was intentional and I have plans on showing how hard and long 5 weeks are but for the sake of keeping the plot line to myself I won't reveal it.

Also the hard part in depression is not hitting the bottom or even realizing and accepting that fact. It's getting back up because trust me, you'll slip a lot. Meaning Felicity will slip a lot.

Without further ado, there goes the 5th chapter.

* * *

Felicity reached Starling City and hailed a cab to a survivable motel in Glades. She knew it was risky but she couldn't go back to her house. Because when she did it wouldn't be for staying. It would be to renovate it. She wanted to change everything and her rent was already paid for the end of the year so renovating it was. She checked into the cheap motel and threw herself to the pillow.

Sleep came hard this time, Starling wasn't good for her and she probably wasn't ready anyway.

But she was Felicity Smoak, she soothed herself.

She was strong, she was in control, she could do it.

She had a nightmare that night.

* * *

Maeve was outside, she couldn't take it. She had been with Oliver as they looked at the pictures, he had lost it. He had started trembling and tears had formed on his eyes when Maeve had let her breathe out and left. Since then she had seen those pictures twice more, once for Diggle and one more time for Sara and Roy.

Photos were downright scary. She had never seen something like that in her life other than movies and things like that. It was nothing more than a city legend for her but seeing Felicity like that, man, it had even fucked her up. But Oliver's reaction was the reason she had been in out of the foundry for hours now. She knew he still wasn't himself.

When he first saw Felicity, she was sitting on a bench, legs pulled to herself with a coffee in hand. Every time she hit the forward button she had seen Felicity get worse and worse. Oliver had his first break down when he saw her crying. Who ever the sicko was, he had enjoyed her pain because suddenly photos had timings on them and there it was Felicity crying for hours. Maeve stopped going forward after that but Oliver insisted and they kept looking at Felicity.

She couldn't exactly see the weight loss because of her big coat until she thought of looking to her legs. With every picture she saw them melting away, turning into fragile sticks, getting thinner inch by inch. After the 20th day Oliver had completely lost it, she saw the tears coming out of his, he kept shaking his head as he took in the pictures. When it was the last few ones, when Felicity looked like she was death herself Maeve heard Oliver whispering no, he kept wandering softly, refusing it with a no.

But unfortunately pictures were there, she was still missing and Oliver was losing his mind. He had got up from the chair and went to a deep dark corner of the lair she never went and didn't plan on making a visit anytime soon.

Sometimes she would hear clashing sounds, thuds and even screams. She was scared of him, she was scared of anyone who had lost the woman they loved. Sara wasn't, she had moved towards him with steady legs.

She sat down beside him, "Ollie?"

He kept silence, she sighed long and heavy, "Ollie, stop this. I'm leaving. I know you won't say stay I don't want you to. And I know you'd never hurt her knowingly and use other women, use me in the process. I don't blame you, I blame myself. I should have known."

"How could you have known Sara?"

"Because years ago, I looked at you the way Felicity had, when you were with Laurel. I should have recognized the pain in her eyes Ollie, I used to have it in mine."

"Sara I'm so -"

"Don't Ollie, don't take my feelings as a burden too. We weren't in love and we both knew that. I just wished I was a bit careful enough to see that _you_ were in love."

Oliver looked at Sara blankly, "Don't give me that look. Do what she told you Oliver. Do whatever it takes, end this."

Sare left him and went to her apartment to pack, she couldn't take it any longer. She would rather go back to which ever hell she came from instead of this.

* * *

Felicity woke up next morning sweaty, she had seen the same nightmare all night over and over again. She saw herself as she looked at that reflection on the mirror. She knew she didn't look much different now too but she had accepted it. She had taken the first step of getting better, she knew she would slip and she knew it would happen when she saw Oliver but she wouldn't be staying in this state, not forever. Taking a quick shower she took her bag and checked out of the place.

When she reached her apartment, she suddenly stopped with the key in her hands. She thought about going back, she thought about hiring people to do the job for her but she had decided to get better and she never did anything half-way. If it needed to be done, she had to be the one to do it. Taking a big deep breath she placed the key and opened her front door.

The second she got in, she knew it wasn't right, she was a person of habit. Even if her tablet wasn't missing, she would see Diggle's steps in her house, imagine him as he grabbed the tablet and looked around for any kind of sign. She knew her orders would be here in a couple of hours, paints and brushes of course. Her knew furniture would take a few days, giving her enough time to paint the place and get rid of the old furniture.

She started with her bedroom. She went to her closet, taking every clothing she owned out and placing them into thrash bags, she would donate them. She would donate everything, her savings would drain away but it was worth it. Or she thought so.

Felicity remembered every time she wore the clothing as she held the piece in her hands. She had worn her back detail dress when she came back from the Central City and they had gotten to a fight with Oliver. She had worn the polo shirt when she had told Oliver about Thea's biological father. A striped black sweater thrown to the end of the closet caught her eye, she knew as soon as she held it in her hands, she had worn that when she was looking up info about the Undertaking. Then she saw the polka dot shirt she wore after Russia. The day she had received 'the talk', the day she almost lost it in front of Rochev, first day she had used their private loo to cry. But unfortunately it wasn't the last time.

She came face to face with her formal dresses. She had always chosen pink ones, except the Dodger case. Oliver had killed for her that day, then there was the Count, she had worn her pink dress then. She searched her closet for it and pushed it inside the bag.

After getting rid of everything related to the lair, the office, the clothes Oliver, Clock King, Count, Dodger, Huntress, Sara even Diggle had marked she looked at her closet. It still had a bunch of clothing in it, the best ones were gone since she had always liked to dress for work, no wonder why. 'Who am I preparing today, uhh, Rochev or the Dollmaker?' she tought bitterly.

Then she went over to her jewelry boxes and took the ones that made her think of Oliver, except one. She had bought herself an arrow, she never wore it before because she had bought it right before Russia. She carried the bags to the front door so she would remember to donate them to Starling Charity for the Glades.

Felicity got rid of her sheets, her old make-up, mostly lipsticks and nail polishes. She didn't know if she would buy exactly the same she got rid of when she went shopping but she knew one thing, it wouldn't be branded.

She worked her way through bathroom till she reached the living room, working in a resigned silence.

* * *

"Maeve?" Oliver called as he stepped down the stairs and approached her.

"Yes?"

"Any news?"

"No."

Oliver turned to her, trying not to lose it one more time, to take Felicity's advice via Sara of course, to do everything he could, "Have they found the man?"

"They've interrogated him."

"Are you telling me Mancini's can't break down a sick hacker?"

"I'm telling you _the Pino _couldn't crack him down."

No one knew the full name of Pino except maybe Luce and Nero or how he managed to make people talk. They just knew that he didn't fail, maybe never even.

"Are you shitting me Maeve?"

"Nope, unfortunately, this guy wasn't just interested in Felicity, I directed them to ARGUS, I can't deal with a bunch of hackers, I need to find Felicity."

"You think you can?"

"I'm trying to reach the source of the photos, the computer they used to send it. Maybe I can find the city so we can have a clue."

Oliver gave Maeve the look of almost begging and she nodded, she knew even if she just found the state, he would search the place inch-by-inch. He hooded up, "Hey, can you open Felicity's system thing?"

Oliver didn't know the terms of their world, he just knew Felicity always found the target. Maeve nodded as he left to patrol for the first time in weeks. He met up with Roy.

* * *

"Still nothing?" Roy asked in his usual carefree voice, as they kept walking down the dark streets.

"No, not after the.." Oliver trailed off.

"The pictures. I get it Queen."

"Do you?"

"I liked Felicity you know, we didn't exactly had the time to bond or anything but she was nice."

"You still think we can't find her?"

"Yeah but I think she might find you."

Oliver's head snapped to his side, "Do you know something?"

"Yeah, I know where she is and I'm hiding it from my favorite super-hero. Dude, come on? I'm just using my brain that's all."

Oliver huffed out, "Use it a bit more and explain."

"Well, Felicity seems strong enough. She'll probably babble her way out of depression or whatever it is that's going on and she'll come back to city. She would never permanently leave this team, I'm sure of it. Although it probably would be nice to see you single, when she comes back."

"We broke up with Sara actually."

"Finally, how did that happen?"

"She dumped me."

Roy chuckled under his breath, "Just the scene I wanted see, sorry that I miss it."

"It wasn't very eventful, she said that she was leaving the city and told me to find Felicity, do whatever it takes."

"Wasn't that Felicity's line?"

Oliver eyed him, "How the hell do you know that? Were you even there?"

"No, Diggle told me. You were like 'grr' to Sara then Felicity told you to do the shit and you were like 'yess she said yes, imma go kick some ass'." Roy filled him in with a voice over.

"What?" Oliver almost shouted.

Roy raised his hands, palms facing him, expression turned into a puppy, "His words, not mine."

"Do you talk about these kinds of things?"

"Oh man, we talk about everything."

"What do you mean everyt-"

"Everything."

Oliver opened his mouth but his phone rang. Sparing a final glare to Roy he opened it to hear Sara, "Ollie?"

"Yes?"

"You need to go to Felicity's apartment."

"What happened?"

"I think I saw a light in there."

"On my way."

Roy looked at Oliver as he started to run to where he left his bike.

"Queen, what's going on?"

"Sara saw a light in Felicity's apartment."

They reached to bike, Roy sat behind him. He wanted to make a comment about how weird this felt but he kept his mouth shut as the bike ate the road to her house. Oliver parked to bike to a narrow street close to Felicity's apartment and walked the way to her fire escape. Roy shot him a questioning look.

"We're a bit dressed Roy and we can't exactly ring the bell, right?"

"Yeah, you're right."

They took the steps quickly but as silently as possible. Oliver got inside her bedroom window and scanned the place, after listening a few seconds, he heard the footsteps coming from possibly the living room. He took an arrow and placed it in his bow. Roy stalked after him as Oliver made his way to her living room, bow aiming straight.

Oliver saw the trash bags resting against the wall beside her front door, the place looked pretty empty. He looked at the bright living room, the lights were on and he could swear he saw something move behind the couch. He took slow steps towards there and in a moment someone stood up in a blur with a baseball bat in hand.

He came face to face with the woman he had been searching for weeks. Felicity lowered the bat as she stared at him with expanded eyes, "Felicity?"

She walked around the couch, stepping closer to him every moment. When she reached him, she pulled his hood down, her hands lingered on his neck, at the side of his face.

Felicity gave him a small smile, leaning to the side she saw Roy, "Hey."

"Uh, hi. Should I, uh, let Diggle know?"

"Yeah, sure. The phone is-"

"No, I probably should tell him in person. I'll just go grab him." Roy knew the emotional scene was on its way and he never wanted to see Oliver like that, ever. Roy left from the front door, she saw him pushing his mask down while he closed the door. Felicity turned to Oliver, who had not been able to move besides lowering his bow.

She faced him again, taking the bow from his hands and putting it next to her bat. "Oliver? Hey?"

Oliver stared at her with blank eyes, she felt the horror of his ice blue eyes on her face. He reached to her waist and she leaned in to his touch, taking a step forward. She stroked his face with her palm the next thing she knew, they were moving.

Oliver saw the red dot at the side of her forehead and pulled her down with himself. One moment later they heard the glass shuttering, pieces flying across the room to land on Felicity's body. Leather kept him a bit safe but the glass easily sank into her flesh, bloodying her jammies.

* * *

Alright don't freak out. Felicity won't be all "I love you Oliver, I need you Oliver."

Update was a bit late than the usual but don't worry we are going back to normal. I hope the explanation I did before the chapter was enough, if you have any concerns, anything that seems wrong to you leave a comment so we can talk about it.


	6. See If I Care

I've written 3.5k words for the chapter, then I accidentally hit delete the draft and cried for a while. After that I wrote and deleted what I wrote 2 times, I just couldn't be happy about it. The chapter I am publising now is different from the first 3 ones I wrote and I am partially happy about it. Okay I'm actually sort of happy about it.  
I swear to god this fiction was not supposed to be this way. It was supposed to be me writing my fave OTP in a happy merry way.  
Anyways, I love you and the way you care for this fiction as much as I do. Or I hope you do, do you?

* * *

"Felicity! Felicity, are you okay?"

"Yeah yeah. I'm fine." Oliver looked around for an attacker but there wasn't anyone, they had vanished into the darkness of the city by the time he dared to look.

"Oliver, the bag under my bed, grab it."

He disappeared from her sight and she held on to her couch, trying to get up without curling her body, pieces of glass had already sunken into her flesh, she didn't want to push them further. After a few agonizing moments, she managed to stand up and Oliver came with the bag.

She opened the zipper and grabbed the black canvas pants and the grey top and shoved to his chest, "Change." She looked at his pants and pulled out a pair of briefs and handed them to him too.

"We don't have time."

"Yeah, just wear the briefs then I'll come inside bathroom and patch us up, alright? We can't leave as arrow, they'll look into security cameras tomorrow morning."

Oliver nodded and closed the bathroom door after getting inside, sliding the green leather off from his legs he tried to keep his calm while analyzing the situation. If Sara hadn't seen the light, Felicity would be attacked alone and she probably would die. He put on the briefs and opened the door, he was not going to get lost on that thought, he was not going to think about something so, unacceptable.

She came in and took her top off, then carefully slipped out of her jammies. She stood in front of him in her dark green simple bra and panties. But it wasn't just that, glass was peeking out of her skin, her one of her fuzzy socks had stains of blood that reached it after the blood made its way down the entire side of her body. Felicity took a deep breath and eyed his body, looking for where the glass had cut him, he only had two pieces that weren't as deep. It was going to be easy to patch him up, she on the other hand was pretty much polka-dotted with the glass.

He reached to the first-aid kit she kept in the bathroom and handed her the tweezers. She took a deep breath again and picked up the first piece, he didn't even flinched. After pulling out the second one she reached for the gauze and dressed the wound quickly. She had abandoned her work for over a month but she was still the one patching him up, it would never change, no matter what.

Oliver took the tweezers from her and kneeled in front of her, holding her hip bone to keep her from shaking. She gripped his shoulder to keep herself calm but all it was doing was to keep her from falling and leaving her fingers' mark as bruises. Oliver took the first piece and pulled it out at once, she gasped. He tried to keep himself from trembling, he tried to ignore her sharp sound of pain and keep his hands steady. He took away the second one, one more, then again. It took him almost three minutes to pick out every piece that was placed in her skin. Some was just a few crumbles of glass some were almost the size of his palm, never the less, they were there and they needed to leave her skin.

He started to clean her wound and Felicity took the phone and called Diggle, "Hey."

"Oh my god Felicity, finally you're home. I was so-"

"Digg, I know. We were attacked I need you to stay in the lair and activate my system, the way I taught you and no other way, alright?"

"Alright."

Felicity shut the phone and turned to Oliver.

They left her apartment hand to hand.

* * *

Once inside the car Oliver took a deep breath, Felicity tried to prepare herself for the speech he was about to give her.

"Felicity, I-"

Felicity cut him short, "No. Not now, not anytime soon. Until we get rid of this danger," Felicity took a deep breath herself, closing her eyes, "Until I let you, don't ever talk to me about this."

What 'this' meant was very clear. Oliver nodded and tried to push his feelings down. She didn't want to talk about what happened, she didn't want to talk about how he felt, she didn't want to hear his apologies, his pleas, his begs. She was maybe done with all of this, maybe she was going to come to the lair and tell them she was out, she didn't want to be a part of this team anymore if they hadn't just gotten attacked. Oliver didn't know if he was pissed off at the attacker or he was thankful to him, for making Felicity stay with them at least for a week.

He parked the car in front of the Verdant and got out, just as they were walking through the door, Oliver felt something. He pushed Felicity behind and trapped her between his broad back and the cracked wall. After a few tense moments he spotted Sara and let Felicity come out of his back.

Sara saw Felicity step next to Oliver and her eyes expanded when the image of Felicity filled her brain. Photos weren't lying, it broke her heart to see her that way, it hurt her knowing the fact that she was one of the people who made Felicity go down the way she did. It hurt her so much.

Sara couldn't help herself, she ran towards her and jumped to her for a hug. But the shock hit her a second after when Felicity hugged her back, almost as tight as Sara hugged her. She let go of her after a long while and dragged her inside, Oliver after them.

"I heard about the attack, I called Maeve to learn what happened and she told me."

"Sara was the one who saw the light in your house, F-" He choked on her name. He barely managed to get _F _out of his lips but somehow the rest didn't follow, thankfully it didn't make a difference and none of the blondes called him out on it.

They went downstairs to find Maeve sitting on the table, not the chair but the table. She had cleaned up all the ash and the stubs and even activated the fire alarm. Diggle ran towards her and pulled Felicity in for a hug, they stood embraced for what seemed like hours for Oliver but it was only moments.

"Felicity, tell me who I need to kill and don't leave again," Diggle whispered to her ear in a way no one could hear except her and she laughed. Diggle smiled back, like everyone on the team he had missed her laugh, she was his best friend and it had been way too long since the last time he got to see her smile. Even though things were going down, everyone was happy to hear her laugh echo in the lair.

Roy stepped forward and they hugged too, Oliver felt his insides burst into tears even though he kept his expression neutral. She hadn't hugged him and he hadn't dared to touch her, he still couldn't. He had a feeling that she would pull away or she wouldn't hug him as tight as she did others and that would be the end of him. End of his sanity, end of his existence, to see her flinch away from him, to witness that she didn't care about him as much as he longed.

But he couldn't open his mouth, he couldn't voice his concerns because he knew, that's exactly what he had done to her for years, that's why she had left in the first place. The push and pull game he played had a toll on her and the 'pulls' weren't sufficient, they didn't keep her around long enough for him to realize how much the 'pushes' hurt her.

So Oliver Queen kept quiet that night.

Felicity moved over to Maeve, and stretched out her hand, "Felicity Smoak but I'm pretty sure you've got that covered."

Maeve chuckled, "Yeah, my name's Maeve, I'm from ARGUS."

Felicity's eyes expanded, "Ohh, you're Maeve of course. I heard you were a big smoker but I didn't expect that much, really. Have you tried nicotine patches? People say it really does work, or maybe electronic cigarettes? To keep you alive a little longer you know. Also I'm so sorry for hacking into your system, I wouldn't do it if I really, really wasn't desperate."

Maeve shot her a smile, her sincerest smile this team has seen, "It's alright. I designed it again but I'm pretty sure you can breach into my walls if you tried. And I'm sorry for going over your, well, everything. I had to do it to, you know,"

"Find me. I understand, as long as you haven't gotten my security code and changed my system or worse changed my security co-"

"No worries. I'm not gonna say I didn't try but after 3 times of failing, also love the messages you put at the end, I stopped."

"What messages?"

"Any time I tried to change it without giving the system the current code a message appeared, _'huh, please'_."

"Ohh, I totally forgot about them, it must have been so annoying," Felicity said with real, unforced sympathy, which made Maeve like her even more.

"Well, I was trying to change your system so I guess I did deserve it. Please teach me how to create your mirroring servers, it has been eating me up. I have a mirroring server but yours is impenetrable and I am sincerely jealous."

Felicity was about to lose herself in the conversation but Oliver cleared his throat and Felicity spared a glance at him, then she turned to Maeve again, "Right after I find the guy who attacked me in my house."

Felicity took off her jacket and sat on her chair, it had been so long since she did it but it was a forgiving one, easily adapting to the shape of her body. She pulled up the traffic and the security cameras that was around her house and her fingers started to fly on her keyboard again.

Sara, Diggle and Roy stared at Felicity's back. There she was in her chair again, hair pulled up in a pony tail, jacket draped over her chair and completely focused on the monitor in front of her. They all had a stupid smile stuck on their lips they couldn't erase that night.

* * *

Maeve was long gone to ARGUS, she was running a search on her own but she had work she had to catch up with in the ARGUS. Sara, Diggle and Roy were out, patrolling. Oliver was training harder than she had ever seen.

So Felicity was running through the cameras while checking her mirror servers for everything that happened. They would tell her if she asked but Felicity knew; people lied, computers didn't. She was annoyed that someone dared to use her computer for checking their e-mail, how disrespectful was that, 'such a simple task' she thought and decided to take a look on the received files. Maeve or whoever had done this didn't care for getting rid of the files, not that they could have without her security code; everything that got caught on her systems was permanent until she decided it was time to delete them but they hadn't even tried. So she opened the file and clicked on the first image.

Her face stared back at her in the monitor. She gasped but kept going through the pictures, she didn't stared them any longer than a second since the background was blurred but she could see herself getting worse and worse by every picture. A few tears escaped her eyes but she pulled herself together, she would cry for them later. Now she just needed explanations.

"Oliver!" She yelled.

She didn't turn to his side, she didn't look anywhere but the picture of her self crying, sitting on the bench. But she heard, she heard him running to her hurriedly, "What? What happened?"

"What is this?"

Oliver saw the screen, he saw Felicity looking at her crying self. Everyone thought Felicity was back to normal at least a little bit since she was sitting in front of that computer but he had seen the difference. She was different, she wasn't the woman she was before, she wasn't full of life now and he didn't know if she ever would be.

Felicity cleared her throat and he answered, "Luce Mancini sent them to us. We were looking for you, Maeve turned out to be friends with them and she asked for help. There was a hacker who tracked you down, kept tabs on you and apparently he had shared the information with his people. Luce took a hold on it and sent it to us, they found the man too but they couldn't make him talk. Chances are, Nero got pissed off and killed him."

"Okay." Felicity sighed and closed the tabs. She turned back to scanning the camera footage she took from the shop across the street but nothing was there.

"We need to call the police."

"What?"

"Nothing is here. The gun is probably shot from somewhere as high as my apartment. There's no camera footage that shows any kind of person at that hor of the night walking around. They probably ran away by using something like you used when we broke into Merlyn's mainframe. The bullet can be my last chance and I can't analyze the bullet faster than the police. And even if I do, there's a chance these hackers will know. I need time to update my firewall and rearrange things thanks to your search for me."

"What were we supposed to do, Felicity? Not search for you? Not try?"

Felicity sighed, she had nothing to say against that. She knew she wrecked their lives here too but when she left, she truly thought they wouldn't look for her. She tried to bury the parts of her self that was broken beyond any logic and got up from her seat, "I sent Officer Lance enough info about the situation, I'm going to Big Belly Burger, you want some?"

"No."

"Alright," Felicity tried to walk past him but he held her arm, "No, as in 'no you're not going anywhere Felicity'."

"Excuse me?"

"Last time you pulled that you went after Tockman without us and even if you're not going to do something so.." Oliver let out a strangled breath as he tried to find the right word, "reckless again, there are people out there trying to hurt you. You're not going by yourself."

Felicity pulled her arm out of his grip, "Then you're getting me my food."

"No, Diggle is getting the food. I'm not leaving you alone at the foundry."

"Well can you at least disappear from my sight?" She snapped.

Felicity regretted her words the second they came out of her mouth, the second he heard them, the second he took a step back and tears slightly glistened his eyes. He turned away instantly and left. Disappearing as she asked, to the deep corner of the lair, the place herself crashed once or twice when things had gone shitty.

Felicity knew she had to call Digg herself and reached for the comms she kept off as long as Digg didn't send her a sign, "Hey, Digg?"

No one answered so she tried again, "Diggle?"

Now trying to reach Roy's and Sara's comms too, "Guys?"

She pulled up their location using the GPS on the comms and gasped when she saw they were all at the same place which happened to be a warehouse, "Oliver!"

What happened didn't matter, he forgot anything he had in his mind the moment he heard her panicked voice, he jumped up and ran to her, "What?"

"I think something happened to them."

"Who?"

"Everyone. They're not answering their comms and they're all located in a warehouse."

Oliver nodded and ran to his clothes, hooding up in under a minute since it was a routine by now he grabbed his bow and quiver and left.

He was just around the corner of the ware house, "Felicity?"

"They're still inside, I'm getting strong signal. It's a simple warehouse, no basement only one floor, no rooms no secret passages just an open area."

Oliver sneaked inside expecting to find his teammates tied up and sitting in the middle with a few man above them. But things didn't go that way.

Felicity listened to the comms carefully, she was so focused that she didn't realize what was happening until a sound made her jump. Her monitors lost the image of the tabs she had opened and except the one in the middle, they all turned blue. The next few seconds was something she was prepared beforehand.

She didn't wait for the creepy speech Tockman once gave her, she reached under her desk and ripped the paper package up, swallowing what's inside and leaving the teared box on her keyboard. Then she pulled the modem to herself and let it fall down next to her feet and smashed it with her heel. Saving the last monitor she had by turning offline.

She barely managed to stab the shortcut she had with the tip of her fingers before someone turned her chair and placed the cloth dipped in ether on her nose.

Felicity didn't fight back, she just breathed in.

* * *

Oliver looked around in the entirely empty warehouse and tried to reach Felicity, thinking that she had gotten rid of him to do pull something like Tockman again, "Felicity?"

The comm was silent and he felt the horror enveloping his heart. He took his cell and called Diggle, "Digg?"

"Yeah?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Sara and Roy are hanging together in the Glades, I'm closer to the other side of the city."

"Oh shit."

"What?"

"Either Felicity is pulling another Tockman again or something worse happened."

"Call Sara, tell her to get to the foundry, I'll be there in 15."

Diggle ended the call and drove to the foundry, using every shortcut that was in his knowledge to make it there as soon as possible. He got there right after Sara and Roy, Oliver came in running a few second later than he did.

Sara was the one to talk, "That's ARGUS' logo on the screen and there's a small box in here, ripped open. We have to call Maeve."

Oliver nodded and took out his phone, dialing Maeve's personal number she had given in the case of a _real _emergency. She answered in first ring, "What?"

"Felicity might be abducted."

"Talk."

"There's ARGUS' logo on the screen and a paper box ripped open on her keyboard."

That was something Mockingbird and Felicity knew by heart also the every other hacker that was connected to ARGUS in some way. You put on the logo, you swallow the GPS signal device that is resistent to stomach acid that is developed by ARGUS and wait for someone to come and rescue you. So Maeve knew what to say next.

"There's a code at the bottom of the box, read it."

"A3QO214TTFS"

"Wait a second, I'll give you an address."

Oliver tapped his foot only twice before she talked again, "I'm sending you the address and the plan of the building now, good luck."

* * *

Felicity sat on the chair she was tied in silent resignation when an average looking guy approached her lazily, "Name's Gerfried. I'm a german and you a jew, ah, what a moment. Why Miss Smoak, you're not even trying to break free."

"Why would I? This is a 2 floor building that has 6 guards in position and 4 more who is eating a late dinner right now. What's the point?"

He put his hands at the sides of her chair, "How the hell do you know that?" He roared in her face but she didn't budge.

She replied calmly, "I always do my homework. You never should have followed me to Chicago."

"You saw me?"

"I did, I just didn't know it yet."

"Oh, you did not." He shouted in discomfiture.

"Oh, I did." Felicity said imitating his voice.

"You did what?" Another man joined them.

Gerfried answered, "She pulled image out of her pupils, from the photos I sent you."

"She has the photos?"

"Of course she has the photos, come on." Other guy left after the sudden embarrassment, leaving Gerfried alone with her again.

"So, since you're not fighting and taking the fun out of everything, what should I do with you? I can get the security code from you, won't be hard to break you. Or maybe I should especially make sure you suffer."

"Not that I'm objecting but why?"

"You should object, you have been messing around with Malcolm Merlyn, the Triad and one time you cock blocked the League which I'm pretty sure you're still not aware. You have been taking down my clients and putting your nose in where it doesn't belong, Felicity Smoak. And I'm tired of that firewall of yours," He leaned in impossibly close, "I'm really, really tired."

He stood up again and kept pacing, "So what should I do with you now, Felicity Smoak?"

Felicity kept quiet, even though she left enough trace for Oliver to follow her, she realized she truly didn't care in that moment. Gerfried took the gun out of his belt and put it against her head.

"I think I settled on killing you."

* * *

Oliver approached the front door while Sara and Roy were finding themselves windows to climb and Diggle was taking the back door. He had his silencer on his gun, that night, he was in for the kill.

Using the last set of working comms, Oliver said, "What are your positions?" He had two men guarding the door, both armed.

Diggle answered first, "Hiding in the bush. Two guys sipping beer, won't even engage, I'll just shoot from here."

Sara spoke after him, "I'm in the first floor window at the east side, I have two guys playing cards here."

Roy chuckled under his breath, "I have four eating dinner, my lucky day, I'm standing on the window."

Sara talked again, "That window is about to crack down you better jump off."

Oliver talked, "It'll make too much noise."

Roy whispered this time, "It won't matter if I jump on their table though."

"Now." Oliver ordered before firing his arrow and taking the first guy. He hit the other guy with his bow and dodged his punch. Gripping his head, he bashed it on the door three times before the door opened and the guy slipped to the ground.

Right across the open space, Oliver saw Diggle with his gun in his hands, they both turned to Sara's side and she was walking towards the center of the space where the stairs were.

The trio turned their gazes to Roy's side, he was walking towards them too but contrary to the other team members' work, he left a complete mess behind.

He actually had jumped on the table and managed to break it. Even though only Diggle had managed to see a small part of the fight, Roy had taken his four pretty quickly and effectively. He had punched the first one unconscious thanks to Mirakuru. He had grabbed the broken wine bottle and stabbed the guy on his right with it. He had span and kicked one of them away and he jumped over the last guy standing and took him out too.

They saw him change his course to kick the guy he had kicked before until he was out too, before meeting them at the stairs. Oliver simply nodded to him and the silence after the quarrel provided them with Felicity's voice.

"Come on, do it! All of your men are out I assure you. Do it, pull the trigger, runaway when they're trying to make sure I'm okay, when they're trying to save me. But trust me, there's one thing Oliver Queen is superior and it is not archery skills. It's crossing names off a list. Kill me and give him a purpose."

They have been taking the steps as quiet as possible, there was a guy standing with a gun in his hands with his back to them. Felicity was there, they could partially see her, she was tied up at a chair and screaming. Felicity saw them, she shot a look at Oliver and shouted again.

"Do you think I'll care? I'm done Gerfried, you settled on the right thing."

Oliver heard the click of the gun as the man got ready to pull the trigger. That's when he did it, Oliver let an arrow off his bow, aimed right on Gerfried's neck. Diggle had pulled the trigger too, his safety lock was already open and the man fall to the ground.

Unfortunately Gerfried had managed to pull the trigger himself.

* * *

I left you with a cliff hanger again? God..


	7. Join the Party

IMPORTANT A/N.  
You might not know it if you don't follow my tumblr, so I'll say it in once, every story I'm writing will be finished by August 18. Which means, chances are we will come to an end with this story in a few long chapters. If I manage to let go of course. I've had already planned my Klaroline story it is about to end, Stebekah story will be easy since it's based on a movie but with this story I don't know what I'm gonna do. I have so many things to write but no time.  
This is breaking my heart but I will do my best, I'm sorry.  
Now you know.  
PS: So sorry for the possible spelling and grammar errors, I have very limited internet that I can not even edit it throughly but I am going back home this Saturday, then I will be on it.

* * *

_Unfortunately Gerfried had managed to pull the trigger himself._

Unfortunately for Gerfried, Felicity Smoak was a smart woman. She pushed herself to her left using her feet on the ground and fell to the ground with a thud, dodging the bullet.

Not exactly dodging since it still grazed her shoulder and left an open wound, but 'it's better than dying' Felicity thought. Sara ran towards her, putting her chair in place and cutting the tie around her wrists and freeing her. Sara held her arms and turned Felicity to face her, checking her for any injuries.

"Oh, you're bleeding."

"Don't worry, bullet's not inside, it's just a graze."

Men of the team were watching the exchange numbly, it was the second injury Felicity had gone through since she came back to Starling and everyone was hell bent on not letting happen again, Felicity talked after swallowing loudly, "I'm hungry."

"First we have to take care of your arm." Oliver answered.

Sara could feel the tension between them so she decided to postpone the fight, "I'll take her to the foundry, you guys get us some food."

Oliver wanted to protest but no one could take people down like Sara so what was the point of sending Roy or Diggle with them. He just nodded.

Sara and Felicity climbed on her bike and Diggle got in his car. Roy was about to get in with Diggle when Oliver stopped him, "You take the bike and follow them, I'll go with Diggle."

He didn't want to make Felicity uncomfortable but he just couldn't let her go with the Canary. What if they attacked with so many people, that Sara wouldn't be able to protect her? She could take the men down sure, but if Felicity got hurt in the process this team would go down, they wouldn't be able to survive it. So Roy was a good choice, despite that he wanted to go himself, he wanted Felicity to hold onto his waist on the bike, this was the second best scenario. Even if he didn't like to admit it, Roy was strong and he would protect Felicity with his life, like all of them. Only difference was his life was less likely to end than the others.

Sara felt someone behind them long before she saw Roy on Oliver's bike, following them at a close distance in case of an attack. Felicity saw it too but she chose not to comment. They reached the foundry in 5 minutes after that and Sara dragged Felicity to the lair and took off her coat hurriedly. Sara removed her wig and her mask as Felicity sat on the chair and waited.

It was the top of her shoulder, a few inches away from where her neck met her shoulder and she was right it was just a graze but it was a bullet's graze never the less and she needed stitches.

"Can you get me the oxycodone, Roy?" Sara called to Roy.

He was going to the cabinet when Felicity said, "No, don't."

"Felicity-" Sara protested but she clamped her mouth shut with one look from Felicity.

Roy sensed the situation and took off to circling the club.

Sara tried again, "Felicity, it will hurt."

Felicity took off her glasses and rubbed her hand across her face before finally turning to Sara, somehow Sara understood that she was numb enough for anything.

She nodded before reaching and cutting her blouse, she poured the anti-septic but Felicity didn't even flinch. After cleaning the wound, Sara asked to take her mind off of the incoming pain since it was time to stitch it up.

"What happened, in the foundry?"

"You didn't answer your comms-"

"No we-" Sara cut her off. But Felicity raised one hand to stop her.

"I know. It was a trap, they've played with the signals from the comms we used. I sent Oliver cause you all looked like you were in a ware house. I didn't think of calling you I just sent him. After he got inside, I felt my comm losing contact with you and I knew, it was a trap. Waller had given me the GPS device I used, I even helped them develop the device even if it was in your stomach, it still gives signals. By the way I need to vomit that out, I knew Maeve would know it since I left the ARGUS logo on the screen. It's a basic code we all know. Anyways, after that I just waited and kept Gerfried busy."

"Yeah about that, Felicity-"

But she cut Sara off again, "Look, he had to call my bluff. I have been playing him for almost a full hour to keep him from killing me. I distracted him, I asked questions, I threatened him, I did everything I could. But as soon as he heard you downstairs, he was ready to pull the trigger so I played my last game and hoped that I was fast enough and I was."

Sara nodded in understanding. Felicity Smoak was indeed a smart woman, she was a survivor as much as they were, "You know you would survive the island."

Felicity stopped cold, "What?"

"You would survive it and everything would be so much different. Do you know the whole story?"

"Bits and pieces."

"If you want me to, I'll tell you one day."

Felicity nodded and Sara pulled the needle up from her skin for the last time, "You're done."

She nodded once more and made her way to the bathroom she had built in the lair, taking the bag she had brought by her left hand and stumbling towards there. She had two scars in the same place, she thought that she needed to distribute the possible ones. Once in, Felicity took off her blouse, it wasn't as hard as she had thought it would be since Sara had cut it off of her injured shoulder.

She pulled her hair in a pony tail again, breaking the old one since the pieces of her hair was scattered to all directions. She went over to the toilet and took a deep breath before pushing to fingers down her throat and taking them out just in time before she vomited her empty stomach out.

Oliver opened the door of the bathroom, he knocked but there was no answer. Thinking that Felicity would lock the door if she was using the toilet he opened it in a slight worry since she didn't answer the door and found her removing her hand out of her mouth before throwing up.

Oliver heard her grunt when she did, she coughed and spat out before wiping the back of her hand across her mouth. She got up to her feet and flushed the toilet.

Felicity saw him then, almost jumping to the air. She ignored him as she went over to the faucet and washed hands then clearing her mouth she reached her toothbrush. He was watching quietly, trying to keep his mouth shut and answer to himself but he couldn't do it when Felicity finally faced him with her bra on.

Her ribs were peeking out and he had just seen her throw up, the fact that she was wanting burgers was already out of his mind, "Felicity, are you.. throwing up?" He stuttered in a low voice.

It took a moment for Felicity's mind to catch up, "I ate a device."

"What?"

"I ate the GPS device Waller had given me. I had to vomit it out. I'm not throwing up, a lot."

"But you do?"

"I did, at first. But when you don't eat anything you don't throw up."

"Felicity.." He trailed off as he took steps towards her. His facing contorted in anguish.

She stopped him with a hand on his chest, "I'm alright. At least on this subject. I don't have an eating disorder, I know it looks like it but it isn't. Trust me."

Oliver could only nod, her hand on his chest burned, he ached for more, he ached to pull her into his arms and crush her against his body, wrap his arms around her just for once. But he was also afraid, he was scared that she would pull back permanently, the thought left him trembling to his core.

She removed her hand and went over to the bag, pulling out one of his button up shirts, "Sorry, I didn't put any shirts for my self here and,"

"It's okay Felicity, it looks good on you."

She looked up to him half way through buttoning the shirt up, her bra still peeking out. 'If only things were different' Oliver thought, 'If only you wore them in the morning after rather than freshly stitched up.'

They went back to the team, Diggle pulled her to himself and planted a kiss on top of her head before pulling out a chair for himself. Roy had cleaned out a table for them and placed it in the center of their lair, Felicity's chair came up at the end of the table. They had dropped the Big Belly Burger goodness on the table.

The table swarmed with burgers, fries, chicken wings and sauces. They ate while they analyzed the attacks.

"Were they the people followed you Felicity?" Diggle asked first.

"Yes, he told me. Apparently I was messing around with their clientele, which happens to be Merlyn, the Triad and even the League."

"Wait you messed with the League?" Sara asked in fear.

"He says I did and he also said I didn't even realized it which is weird because I always cover myself up and calculate who will get effected by my moves."

"Then you forgot one thing." Roy said, everyone turned to him so he kept on, "Maybe the guys that captured were the League itself. You didn't know you were messing with them did you?"

"You're right, that's the only possible explanation. If so, we're not done with this. They'll come after."

"No, they won't." Sara answered instantly, "I'll call Nyssa."

Felicity replied in no time, "No, you're not going back for me Sara."

"You're right, I'm not going back. I'm staying right here and fighting on this side. I just need to try to avoid the fight first."

Felicity nodded in agreement and kept sipping her coke and chewing her chips. She had already eaten her share of the cheeseburgers but she was hungry considering that she had lost herself and didn't have any dinner at home before getting attacked. It was almost sunrise and that's when she got to eat since the snacks for lunch.

Roy offered her a bite from his burger, she declined. "Oh come on, you are dying to get a bite."

"You're right I am." Felicity agreed and leaned to his burger taking a bite of it while he was holding it. He protested jokingly, "Don't bite that big, what's left for me?"

"Shut up Harper, you're going back to Thea which means hello delicious waffles."

"Yeah, today will be really shitty, we've been up all night."

"You'll take a nap here before work."

"Not if you're sleeping in the cot."

"Don't worry I'll be up and working by then." Felicity said nonchalantly, she had no idea about the relief she provided the rest of the team. They were all excited to have her back despite the events after her return and they were also scared to death that she'll be leaving. But engrossed in her own problems, Felicity never realized their situation, somehow tables were turned.

After the early breakfast, Oliver sent everyone home to get some sleep. Felicity sat in front of her computer again, "I'll run a search on my former actions to see if I actually did poke the angry bears."

"Felicity?"

"Yeah?"

"Care to explain your words to Gerfried?"

Felicity turned to him in her chair, playing with the collar of the shirt and biting the inside of her cheek, "There really isn't much to tell."

"Really? So you don't care? You're done?"

"Oliver, I don't want to have this conversation."

"But we're having it, Felicity."

"You have been avoiding the pain you've caused me for years, you chose this night?"

"You left!"

Felicity scowled, "Excuse me if I couldn't take it anymore."

"You should have said something Felicity, ins-"

Felicity rose from her seat and screamed, "Well I shouldn't have to!"

She stormed away from him but Oliver was there the next moment, grasping her arm and turning her to face him, "You think it was easy for me? I was suffering as much as you were, Felicity."

"It was time you joined the party," She said, shoving his hand away.

She took furious steps towards the bathroom, leaving a petrified Oliver behind.

* * *

A shorter chapter against the last one but one more is on the way.


	8. Nightmare

To answer the guest's review for the 5th chapter that I just received, I am actually about to turn 18, this is my kind of crappy writing and I plan on doing it again.

Thank you nrdhdr3 aka Kayla, this chapter wouldn't be out as fast as it did without you.

I hope you're up for Smoaking Canary friendship, cause you're getting it.

Enjoy the chapter.

* * *

Sara knocked on the door, she came back to the foundry after fighting with Laurel before she left for work and found Oliver sulking in the corner he declared his. Legs pulled to himself, eyes looking down. Felicity wasn't around too so apparently something had happened.

"Oliver?"

"What?" He snapped.

Sara ignored it, "What happened?"

"We fought."

Sara frowned, no matter what happened between them they never fought, they argued but they didn't fight to the point of both of them running away from each other because they couldn't bear seeing each other's faces, "Explain that."

"I broke her Sara, I hurt her way more than I thought I did. I pushed her away so hard, she doesn't even want to see me, talk to me besides work and she sure as hell doesn't give a damn about the mess she left here. And Felicity is not a cold-hearted person who would do that on purpose, no, she's just hurting too much to care. I fucked it up Sara. I fucked it all up so hard."

Sara had nothing to say against that, she just shot him a sympathetic look, "Wish that Diggle and Roy won't learn about this."

Not that Roy or Diggle would kill him, they would beat him up if he went too far but what he was afraid was them not forgiving Oliver. He didn't deserve forgiveness after what he had done but he would still hope to have it, he was selfish like that, he just was. And he knew one day he could wake up and see that no one in his team liked him anymore. He was the leader, yes, but Felicity was the heart of this operation. She was the one that made the business lighter on their shoulder, she was the sun of this team and no one dared to hurt her. Except him, because he was stupid like that.

Sara knocked on the bathroom door, "What?" Felicity yelled.

"It's me, can I come in?" Sara asked.

"Yeah," Felicity answered with weary tone.

"Hey, I heard about the fight, Oliver told me."

Felicity's lips curled into a sad smile, "What are you doing here?"

"I had a fight with Laurel myself."

"Oh, what about?"

Sara lied easily, "Nothing in particular, really. Felicity, I want to apologize."

Felicity let the lie slide for the sake of conversation, "For what?"

"For sleeping with Oliver," Felicity opened her mouth but Sara raised her palm to cut her off, "Not because of the reason you think."

She took a deep breath, "Look, I know it's hard to believe when someone says 'I know how you feel' but I actually do know how you feel, at least to a certain point. I watched Oliver and Laurel in their happy little relationship for almost a year before Ollie approached me. I know the pain, Felicity, I know feeling as insignificant as it gets, I know telling yourself he would never be with you, he's out of your league and you need to move on. I know the moment where your heart gets torn to pieces when you see him with someone else."

Tears pooled in Felicity's eyes, "And I know, that I didn't live something as nearly painful as you're going through." Sara continued, "I'm so sorry Felicity, I know you'll say it's not my fault, it's not anyone's fault that you're in love with him because that's the person you are and I'm sorry."

Now tears were in Sara's eyes too, "Worst part is, I hurt you for absolutely nothing. We are not in love, I just wanted to feel the numbness of it, I just wanted to fill in the gap Nyssa left in me and I'm sorry for it."

Felicity pulled her in for a hug, little blonde wrapped her strong arms around Felicity, "Don't be, Sara. I made everyone miserable anyway."

"We put you in this condition Felicity, every one of us."

"Yeah, it was more Rochev than you really," Felicity lied easily and hoped for blonde to buy it.

Sara shrugged deciding that if they talked about it any longer crying would come and it would be endless on both sides, "So, you up for a breakfast?"

Felicity groaned, "Oh god yes."

They left the foundry using the one of the SUV's Oliver left for emergencies and threw themselves into a joint. Felicity ordered waffles, she wanted to have them since she told Roy about it. Sara laughed at her expression when Felicity took her first bite and moaned.

Sara asked towards the end of their breakfast party, "So, what're you gonna do now?"

"I'll go back to the foundry, try to take care of this mess."

"How about you crush into my place, take a nap while I talk to Nyssa and try to learn if we're actually in trouble then you get to work?"

Felicity wanted to say no but the offer was way good to decline. A nap after the breakfast? She was craving that for years. Actually she was craving sleep since she started working with Oliver.

At the end Felicity nodded in agreement and they went to Sara's apartment, "Wow this is so much better than the tower you were living in. When did you get it?"

"When I decided to stay permanently."

"How did you see my light, Sara?"

"I was going to leave town."

"Why?"

Sara couldn't answer for a while, she just stared into her shoes but Felicity was adamant, "It wasn't easy Felicity. We were working towards nothing, Maeve was losing her temper because of the dead ends, Oliver was losing his mind, Diggle tried to keep optimistic but I knew he was feeling guilty too, for not seeing what Roy said. "

"What Roy said?"

Sara took a deep breath and sat on her couch, taking the bridge of her nose in her fingers while she stretched her feet on the coffee table, "After you left, after Oliver read the message you left, he tried to find a way to locate you." Felicity sat down beside her, "Then Roy said something about how we're not going to find you because you were the one who found the target, you were the smart one and he said that us not finding you was better."

Sara looked up at her, "He called everyone out on their shit and he has been doing that since you left. He was the one who was realistic since he didn't have any guilt on his conscience. It was annoying as hell but he was right at the end."

Felicity didn't dare to meet Sara's eyes. She had a guilty conscience too now, she never meant to hurt anyone but it was what happened when someone loved you. You got hurt, they got hurt. Sara knew Felicity enough to understand her sudden shame for her actions, she planted to a kiss to Felicity's forehead and held her hand, dragging Felicity after her to her bedroom, "You can sleep in here."

Sara gave her a final smile and left the room, closing the door behind her.

* * *

Felicity flinched in her sleep and woke up a second later. She was back to last night, at least to the beginning of it. She was right there standing in front of Oliver and leaning into his touch... What? She was leaning into his touch? Felicity slapped herself on the head, what the hell was she thinking?

_You missed him and you're still in love with him, that's what you were thinking, _her brain shouted. She cursed herself, sitting on the bed. How the hell had she gotten into this mess? She couldn't even remember when she lost it. She couldn't remember the pain she went through she could only feel the scars it left.

It shouldn't have been this easy. She should have been over him by now, with all the pain he caused her, she should have but somehow she wasn't.

Felicity shrugged away from her thoughts, just because she didn't hold a grudge against him, didn't mean she wasn't pissed off, it didn't mean she wasn't hurt, almost to the point of beyond repairing.

Felicity fell back on the pillow again, letting sleep take over again.

Only to wake up an hour later with a scream.

* * *

Sara heard the strangled bawling sound come from Felicity's room. She was trying to reach Nyssa -but she couldn't for some reason- when she heard it and she was on her feet running to the room in the same instant the voice reached her ears.

She threw the door open and scanned the area for a danger only to see Felicity sitting on the center of the bed, crying uncontrollably into her palms. Sara removed them from her face and lifted it with the crook of her finger, "Felicity?"

Felicity rocked with a stronger sob and Sara pulled her to her arms, wrapping it around her and letting her wet her top. She tried to steady Felicity from shaking so much but whatever was making her cry, it was way more powerful than the Canary.

"You're okay. Hey, you're fine. I'm here and you're safe." Sara tried desperately to sooth her, she combed her hair with her fingers and rocked back and forth to calm her down with the rhythmic move.

After a long, long while Felicity stopped, but she didn't slow down and calmed herself, she just stopped and that made Sara even more worried. She pulled back immediately to look at Felicity who was staring at her with expanded eyes, "Felicity?"

"What am I doing Sara? I just a had a nightmare and I couldn't stop crying. I could not stop the feelings in me, is this how it'll always be like? Is this the kind of person I am now?" She asked with her eyes tearing up all over again.

"No, no Felicity. You'll get better, the nightmares will leave you alone."

"When?" Felicity exclaimed."

"When you understand what they mean. Nightmares are your fears laid in front of you."

Felicity nodded as she swallowed and wiped her tears away, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It was Russia, then Chicago all over again."

"What happened in Chicago, Felicity?"

"That's the problem, Sara, nothing happened."

Before she could talk further Felicity's phone rang on her jeans' back pocket, she took it out and saw that it was Oliver, "Yes?"

"Felicity, Laurel needs your help, I can't meet with her in broad day light, take Sara and meet her."

"Alright, I'll contact her now."

"No need, she'll go to the last place we met up."

"Okay," Felicity yawned, "I'll keep you updated."

"Have you been sleeping?"

"Yeah."

"Shit," Oliver muttered under his breath but it came loud and clear to Felicity. She just hung up.

"You heard?" Felicity asked Sara.

"Yeah."

"Then let's go."

Sara and Felicity left and drove to the building they were supposed to use. Why couldn't they just meet in a café or something? They took the steps quickly and went upstairs. The second she saw Laurel she wanted to go back. No matter what she went through Laurel cleaned up well and Felicity wanted to run away screaming. She was wearing jeans, Oliver's shirt and sneakers, her hair pulled up in a not so smooth pony tail. She didn't even wear make up. Clearing her throat Felicity approached Laurel, Sara was inside the building considering that Laurel still didn't know she was the Canary but after last night when she got attacked, _twice, _they would never let her go anywhere alone for a while. Probably a long while.

"Hi," Felicity said with a smile.

"Where's the Arrow?"

"He can't come here in the broad day light, he sent me."

"And you're his?"

"IT Specialist."

"And you can help me?" Laurel asked still in doubt. She was holding onto the files in her hand so hard her knuckles were white and all Felicity wanted to do was to rip them away from her and go back to the Foundry.

"Yes, Laurel." Felicity answered politely.

Laurel handed her the files by stretching out her hand, not even taking a step forward. Felicity gave her a grimaced smiles the way Oliver did to Barry and opened the files taking a look inside, "Sebastian Blood?"

Laurel nodded and took a deep breath, "Just show them to the Arrow, he'll understand." Felicity shot Laurel her Diggle approved annoyed slow blink expression. She was not taking this shit, she turned around and left the way she came. Sara followed her down the stairs at the risk of Laurel seeing her, plan was Laurel left first, Sara kept herself discreet and met Felicity. But she was way too annoyed for that.

Sara had to almost run to meet her furious steps, "Felicity, what happened?"

"Your sister is being rude to me and I am not on the right day to deal with this. I know you couldn't get a hold on Nyssa I'll try to contact her. We're going to the foundry come on."

Sara could only nod in agreement.

The problem with Felicity Smoak was, she was right even when she was angry.

* * *

Oliver was busy shooting tennis balls when he heard Felicity come in, he looked up and oh shit, she was angry. He knew that look, whenever he dared to ask for a coffee in the QC she would give him that face, jaw set, lips pressed together but this was a new level of it and he let go of his bow instantly to go towards her.

He only caught Sara shaking her head behind Felicity when he was face to face with the furious blonde. There was no going back.

"Felicity, how did i-"

Felicity slammed the file to his chest, "You're the one taking care of this shit," She growled, "Arrow, my ass." She murmured under her breath.

She stormed to her seat and opened her computers. She wasn't going to deal with Laurel Lance problems, not before she re-built her computers and absolutely not before she took off the target mark on her back. She huffed and puffed and grouched under her breath. Things had gone horrifically wrong since she came to Starling. She was set on getting herself better, gaining weight, working out. Until Oliver appeared with Roy in her apartment and things went down the hill, not that the hill was that high but still.

But if Oliver hadn't found her she would be dead by now, thanks millions to Sara who spied the light in the apartment. Felicity tried to delete the memories of those moments, those precious seconds where her mind was too shocked to say something and she had went over to hug him, to help him through his state. Thankfully she was interrupted. Stupid move, she thought, very stupid move Felicity Smoak.

She turned her computer to her old state in quick unpleased motions. Maybe she never should have left. Maybe she should have told Oliver to fuck off and find herself a new guy. But she knew how it would end, she was going to come together with an ex-boyfriend or find someone new, she was going to try to prolong the inevitable but sooner or later she was going to care for him, he was going to want to get serious, she was going to nod along but in the end Oliver, their mission would call for her and one night when she came home she was going to find his things packed up and him saying "sorry, this doesn't work out." and she was going to live through another heart-break.

So she sighed and started a search for Nyssa Al Ghul. Not long later Sara came to Felicity and held her phone out to her showing Nyssa's name on the screen, Felicity shrugged and waited for her to take the phone.

* * *

Sara opened the phone, "Nyssa."

"You were looking for me, are you in trouble?" Nyssa asked in her delicate smooth voice, words fell out of her lips with her accent.

"I'm not sure."

"Are you being followed?"

"No, it's about the League."

"We left you alone Sara, you're safe." Nyssa said in a tired huff but Sara could detect the sadness underneath.

"The thing is my friend got kidnapped yesterday-"

"Felicity Smoak, I know."

"How do you know?"

"I know everything that's going on in your life, Sara. I know you ate waffle this morning and had a fight with Laurel. To answer your unasked question, no, they are not exactly with the League and Felicity Smoak never did anything against us, she's safe. If anything she's under my protection." _Because of you_, Nyssa wanted to say but she didn't need to, Sara knew.

"Oh, since you know all this, do you know anything about her kidnappers too?"

"Don't worry about them and tell your friend to stop searching. They're my responsibility."

"What is happening Nyssa?"

"League is cracking Sara, my father is old and somehow people think that I won't be taking his place, or I shouldn't. A minor league assassin is responsible for the lame hacker team. You killed the one in your region. I put a few men for the three others. I will be taking the assassin myself." Nyssa finished with a growl, she wouldn't take disloyalty lightly. Ironic considering their situation.

"Do you want me to come?" Sara asked without hesitation.

Nyssa kept quiet for a second but answered with a soft voice, "No, I've got it. Stay where you're happy, Sara. Maybe I'll visit."

Sara let out a pleased hum and shut the phone, grinning at Felicity, "You, Felicity Smoak, are popular."

"Oh shit." Felicity answered, turning to her.

Sara's smile faded instantly, "What, what happened?"

"It's never good to be popular as a hacker."

"This is a good kind of popular, Nyssa knows you and she knows you didn't go against them. The hacker team is the work of a minor assassin of the league and Nyssa is taking them out. She told you to stop searching."

"Oh-kay. I guess that's out of the way now."

Sara walked closer to her, crouching down in front of her, "Why do I think you're not happy?"

"Because.. because now I have to work on the case Laurel gave." Felicity glared at Oliver using her other set of computers next to his arrows.

Sara reached and put her hand on Felicity's, "You don't have to work on anything if you do not want it, Felicity. Oliver took a leave of absence for today, he'll take care of it."

"No, he won't."

"What?"

"Those files are old, you need to go old school and take the them literally out of the storage, only Laurel knows her way around those files, meaning I have to guide them through comms, aka work with Laurel."

"Oh, well how about I try to do that, Diggle will help me and maybe we'll be able to cover for you."

"Thanks for trying but there's no need, Sara. I tried to postpone it but I knew I was going to have to do this, sooner or later.

Felicity left her seat and walked towards Oliver, Sara watched the exchange silently, "Don't try anymore, Oliver."

"What?" He looked up from the screen in front of him, he was only trying to find out where they kept the files, he didn't even come close to anything Felicity knew.

"There are no digital copies, we'll break in, you'll take Laurel with you, she's a DA assistant, she knows her way inside that storage, I'll guide you through comms and take out the security cameras and, well, you know the usual."

She turned and went back to her computers again before Oliver could nod along, Sara shot him a sad look and Oliver just turned to the table taking an arrow and turning it in his hands. Sara knew there was nothing else to do after this, he was going to sulk and brood and maybe the first time in 2 years, he did every right to do it.

* * *

After Felicity told him how it was going to go, Oliver kept quiet. He trained and tried to somehow sweat the poison out of himself but his heart kept it close. Diggle and Roy arrived in the evening, they must have found a way to sleep because they both looked well rested. Oliver hooded up and tried to catch Felicity's gaze but she kept her eyes strictly on the screen, she stretched out her hand, there were two comms in her palm, one for him and one for Laurel.

"I'll guide you through step by step, tell Laurel not to decide on her own." Felicity spat out.

Oliver blinked and tried to swallow her words, her venomous voice. Felicity cared no attention to him and he left eventually, in a resigned pace of steps.

He cared no mind as he went to Laurel's apartment and picked her up, handing her the comm, Laurel tried, "Felicity?"

A second later he heard her voice in the comm, "All comms are working."

Last night her voice was full of fear but that night she was cold. That night Oliver saw a side of Felicity he never saw before. She wasn't necessarily calm and serious on missions. She would make comments, talk about the target, possible risks. If they were going in to a gala she would break into the security cameras inside and direct them to the cheese puffs, away from the Starling cougars.

He heard her inside his ear again, "I just hacked into the security cameras and took them out. Oliver you have one man at the corridor of the storage room, rest seems clean."

He was so used to her, he waited for the "Guess no one else tries to break into old files." Nothing, he heard nothing beyond that and went to the corridor with Laurel at his side and fired one of his 'sleep tight' arrows and processed.

Laurel used her card and got inside the dusty room, making her way towards the cases of 1979. Just when Laurel found it, he heard Felicity's voice again, "Oh shit, ooh god."

"What happened?"

"I'm coming there, S-" She stopped cold, Laurel still didn't know, "Serena, I need someone with me in there. There are guards out."

Oliver heard the mess that was going on in there, Sara must have been the one to come with her since Diggle knew Felicity's computer better than anyone, she had thought him the ways of it to a point.

Seconds later he heard Sara's voice, "I'm in. Positive?" She was trying to make sure her comm was connected.

"Positive." Oliver answered.

Oliver could hear the engine of the bike start as they waited inside the storage room, almost 8 minutes had passed since he shot the arrow to the guy and he had another 28 minutes until he woke up, that was if a guard didn't decide to make his way from the door inside.

After another 10 stressful minutes Sara and Felicity arrived and Sara took the men out in front of the door. The storage had it's own building thank god, Felicity had cut the connection of the security cameras from the city hall and it would take at least 30 minutes for them to arrive here if they ever realized it on time.

"Felicity what is going on?"

"I can not permanently get rid of the records of you two from the system if I can't get to the mainframe. I use the same system but I already brought needed equipment to take care of it. I just need a few minutes here." Felicity and Sara was already inside and moving towards the mainframe.

If she didn't take care of the camera footage Laurel would be in trouble, he was hidden away by his hood but Laurel would be in big trouble if anyone learned about it. He dragged Laurel after him to meet them in there but apparently this was a bad idea.

Felicity heard him, "S-, Serena I need you to go to the main power chamber and cut off the needed wires, I'll walk you through."

"Where?"

Oliver could feel Felicity showing Sara the place she needed to go, it was obvious they weren't talking to the comms, it was just a conversation between the two.

When Oliver reached her after a few seconds he saw Felicity sitting behind the table, tablet already connected to the main frame and her fingers flying on the keyboard. She didn't look up when she heard them come inside and she talked to the comm, apparently to Sara since her hand involuntarily went to rest on her ear, "I really don't like these keyboards."

Sara chuckled, "I'm there, talk me in."

For a second Oliver felt so left out that he was about to scream in frustration. Felicity was instructing Sara, exposing how much she enjoyed doing the job she had. In a matter of minutes Sara was done and coming back to the main frame while Felicity was back to hacking, Sara came in through the door and stood next to Felicity, leaning in to the table and watching her work.

Oliver and Laurel was watching the show passively from the side of the room, when Felicity talked, "I would curse to who ever was the one to do this but apparently it's my patented work and I kinda sold it to the government. Thankfully, I always leave enough room for myself in my works and.." A few seconds went on and Felicity exclaimed, "I'm in!"

Sara held out her hand and Felicity high-fived her like it was the most natural thing ever. Felicity got up from her seat, "We're done here, I got it on my servers."

That's when all hell broke loose.

The door was thrown open and Oliver took an arrow from his quiver, in the next moment he was firing it and the first man to come in was down. Apparently city hall was more careful now because of the vigilante breaking into their servers more than once. He shut the door placing the table to block the path. Police men kept running towards the narrow room and they were trapped beyond imagine now.

He turned to Sara who was as shocked as he was. Next thing he saw Felicity throwing her tablet to him, "Put it on your quiver, now!" Oliver took it and reached behind to place it while Felicity took a hold on a keyboard and went to the dark corner. Felicity pulled the blinds up to reveal a window. He was cursing to his stupidity now, how could he miss the window in there? How did Sara not see it?

Felicity smashed the keyboard and flinched away instantly, afraid of the smashed glasses. She turned to Oliver, "Take them down, we'll hold here."

Oliver ran towards the window and shot a cable to the next building, it was a bit far but it was still close enough, right when he was about to land on his feet, he heard Felicity on the comms, "Time to cause some explosions."

Oliver started to fight and in a few moments even the men he was trying to take down turned to the building, it shook with a sound, not collapsing, before Oliver could guess what happened Felicity yelled, "Move! Move, move, move."

Oliver saw Sara coming down from the cord and landing on her feet easily to fight the police. The next sound in his ear made him want to go up the cable and grab Felicity.

Felicity gasped, "Shit, Laurel. GO!"

Laurel came out and slid down the cord too and just when Felicity was gripping it, someone pulled her back. Oliver barely saw the movement of her body, kicking the men off of her and sliding down herself.

The police she left behind decided to use a bullet and break one end of the cord, causing Felicity to land on a car, hitting her head hard enough that the next moment she was lying on top of the car unconscious.

* * *

Sara saw Oliver pulling out an arrow from his quiver and sending it right inside the window. What she didn't expect was him repeating the motion. She ran towards Felicity immediately, a few officers were about to get to them, she jumped to the air and punched the first one with everything she got, furious now Sara climbed on top of the car, spun and kicked the other guy on the neck. She reached Felicity and carried her down, Oliver was there the next moment taking her over, Sara looked around for Laurel but she wasn't around.

Taking a look around, she saw that Oliver had blocked the entrance to the building and put down the police officers but she knew there were two men dead upstairs.

Oliver placed Felicity on the front of the bike, sitting behind her, he gave his bow to Sara and handed her an arrow from her quiver, an arrow that would wrap around them, tying Felicity to himself. He kept his arms up and Sara fired the arrow, securing Felicity against his body but leaving his arms free.

He started the engine, tangling his legs with Felicity's to hold her in place. They practically flew towards the foundry, he kept talking to Felicity on the way, trying to wake her up. She came a bit conscious as they got closer to the lair, murmuring words, humming under her breath. Once in the entrance of the Verdant's back door, Sara untied them by cutting the rope and Oliver picked Felicity up, carrying her inside.

Diggle saw Felicity unconscious on Oliver's arms and ran towards them immediately. Oliver laid her on the stretcher and placed an ice bag on her head right away, Felicity's eyes fluttered open slowly, she wasn't able to keep them open for long but she tried, coughing out and murmuring.

Oliver put his hood down and came impossibly close to her, trying to catch her words, "My tablet, Oliver.. Make me sit up."

"Felicity you need to lie down-"

"No," Felicity coughed again, supporting herself with the stretchers sides she sat up slowly, she talked again, her voice came out not so low now, "I might have a concussion, I need to be awake for a few hours. And I need to get rid of that footage."

"Felicity-"

"Laurel will be in danger, so, get out of my way." She said slowly but somewhat threateningly.

She slid down from the stretcher, Sara helped her to her seat. She was already out of her wig and mask, Oliver took off his quiver and handed her tablet to Felicity, looking around for the USB cable inside the bag and returning that after a few moments. Roy went over to Felicity and pulled a chair besides her, watching her work but more importantly her.

Diggle dragged Sara and Oliver deeper into the lair, "What the hell happened? Why the fuck did she come here unconscious?"

Sara and Oliver kept quiet. Everybody knew Diggle and his relationship with anyone that dated Oliver and hurt Felicity. Helena Bertinelli for one and Laurel was the Exhibit B. He had a slight sympathy for McKenna but it was safe to say that he was pissed off beyond imagining right now.

Sara was the one to answer, "Look, we were trapped. Felicity was just done and a shitload of police officers rained down on the door. Oliver shot the first one and closed the door but we wouldn't last long, not long enough for you to come. Felicity smashed a window and sent Ollie out, she caused a bit of an explosion but we had to leave immediately using the cable. They started to empty the batteries on the door. I went out, Laurel did too, but Felicity... An officer got inside and caught her. She got rid of him but the son of a bitch cut the cord and she landed on a car."

They knew Diggle would be pissed but they didn't anticipate how much, "Why the fuck did she leave last?" He roared. Foundry echoed with his voice.

"If there were people on the door shooting around you are the one to leave last Sara! You! Assassin from the League not the IT Specialist!"

Oliver tried to calm him down, "Diggl-"

"NO!" Then he lowered his voice, taking a step towards them, "This girl is back for only a 24 hours and she's got 3 different injuries. I will take this mission down on the fourth one."


	9. Think Before You Talk

I chose outfits! Go to my profile to see the polyvore link.

* * *

Felicity shut her computer done 2 hours later, she was done with the camera footage mess and she was totally done with the concussion risk. Taking her emergency bag, she borrowed one of the SUVs keys and moved towards the stairs. Oliver caught up with her.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Home."

It never occurred to him to ask what happened with the hacker team until now, "But you're in danger?" Oliver said, sentence turning into a question as he proceeded.

"I'm not. You were busy with the Laurel case but we talked to Nyssa and I'm completely safe. There's no one coming to attack me. Also I made sure they repaired my windows but I'm gonna have to clean it up." Felicity answered with a fake calm and strength. She was about to fall asleep or cry on her feet.

"Let me drive you."

"No."

"Felicity,"

"Oliver, if you want to help just contact Laurel and get that file for me."

Oliver shot her a skeptical look and she sighed before answering, "I didn't go through all of those things to not even learn what Sebastian Blood did."

With that Felicity left the lair and drove to her house.

The first thing she saw when she came home was the clothes she was supposed to donate but no one could blame her after that day, if anything people should have donated clothes to her. Or maybe clean the mess up and make some dinner, rubbing her feet would be nice too. She took out some yogurt from her fridge but smell stopped her. She hadn't been home for 5 weeks, she would have gone to the grocery store if she hadn't eaten stale chips the last day as a lunch.

Huffing out she took out her phone and called Big Belly Burger, she had to beg Carly for the delivery but she finally managed to get it after receiving a warning from her to tip the delivery guy well. She readied an extra 10 dollars, if Carly said so, she would do it.

She changed out of her clothes and dressed her wounds again, placing a water proof bandage on her stitched shoulder, she had plans of showering after her dinner. The bandage was itchy and it was pulling her skin but that didn't stop her from paying the guy generously and getting lost in her cheeseburger and vanilla milkshake. Throwing the mess to her trash which was not a pleasant scene she got inside the shower and let the hot water run down from her body.

It slowly drew the tension out of her but it also brought memories with them. She couldn't help but remember the hot shower she had gotten after the freezing cold in Chicago. That city was her nightmare and it never should have been. She liked that city, she liked the idea of it. It was a big crowded place with a gorgeous lake and glorious hot dogs. Was there anything better for Felicity Smoak?

It appeared that indeed there was. It was Starling, her home. She had the friendships she never thought she would develop in this city, she did what she loved in this city, right there. So yeah her life sucked but the city? No, this city was the best and whoever marked her life, they could never managed to leave a mark on the city in her eyes.

Despite her thoughts her eyes still teared up so she shut the water down and got out of the shower, wrapping her body to her towel and wearing her fuzzy slippers. She was so engrossed into her feelings when she heard the doorbell, she opened it without a second thought.

She saw Oliver in front of her his hands filled with bags and a wine under his arm, he made no comment on her lack of clothing, "Please?"

Felicity motioned him inside, he went straight to kitchen and she followed him, one hand at the edge of the towel, holding it together. He was digging the bags frantically but a moment late he was facing her again, grin playing on his lips, "I'm gonna clean up."

"Oh-kay then."

"I bought groceries and stuff, you should get dressed, you'll catch a cold it's freezing outside."

Felicity nodded wordlessly and went to her room, she put on her tardis underwear and printed he pulled a black tank top and her apricot marvel hoodie. Grabbing her phone from her bedside table she went inside to see Oliver wiping the smashed glasses of her floor and cleaning the blood. She smiled to her self mischievously before snapping a picture of him.

She was just about to send it when Oliver asked, "Do you have a vacuum? I think glass is all over your carpet."

Felicity casually moved to her kitchen, "Room at the end of the corridor." She giggled at the way he stood up with his hands still bubbled up. Taking out a garbage bag from her bottom drawer she went over to her fridge and placed everything inside. Thanks to the rotten smell of the food, she grabbed an old towel herself and started to clean the mess up.

Soon enough the house was filled with the sound of the vacuum and Felicity snapped yet another photo, putting the two together she sent it to Diggle, Roy and Sara. Caption was obvious, _"My skills of domestication ;)"_

Diggle replied instantly, _"Holy shit! For real?"_

Roy kept up, _"Don't be an amateur Smoak, he's still wearing his top."_

Sara joined in, _"I'm laughing so hard god damn it! What is air?! I will never let him live this down."_

Roy wrote again, "_No one will."_

Oliver was already done with vacuuming when he saw Felicity bursting into laughter over and over again in front of her phone.

"Who are you texting?"

Felicity snorted and typed, _"Guys, he asked me who I was texting."_

Oliver went over to her and took the phone from her hands, scrolling to the top to see himself washing the floors and vacuuming with all the determination and concentration in the world. His jaw dropped, his face changed a few expression but nothing came out of his mouth.

Her phone buzzed in his hands and he scrolled down again, quickly reading the previous messages, last one was Diggle. Felicity leaned into read it with him.

_"If you're reading this Oliver and I bet my ass you do, I am printing this as big as possible and hanging it on the foundry tomorrow."_

She burst out laughing again and held onto Oliver as the fits rocked her, she was already holding her belly, "Oh god, this team is the best!" She exclaimed, when she saw Oliver's absolutely unamused face, she burst out again, gripping his bicep even tighter.

Oliver only stood there as the realization of how much he had missed her laugh hit him. The sound of her laugh, the high pitch that sometimes turned into a guttural sound, the curve of her lips when she tried to contain herself and the the sound she made when she failed.

After a few long minutes she seemed calmed down enough to talk, "Hey, you wanna watch a movie?"

"I actually brought in DVD."

"Yeah, what movie?"

"Avengers."

She had given it to him months ago, insisted that he watched but he never gotten around to doing it. He had brought it, in the case of having the chance to ask her. She smiled again, "My copy?"

"Yeah."

Felicity went over to the bags in the kitchen again, pulling out the DVD, "Corkscrew is on the first drawer." She nodded to Oliver who was moving towards there and placed the CD in her DVD player. She went over and gotten a few blankets from her room, grabbing her Sexy Siren nail polish at the same time. It was around red violet but a bit more vivid.

The two spent the night laughing at The Avengers while Felicity painted her fingernails, already planning on what to wear the next day. At the end of the movie Oliver complained about how this movie was more of a crack rather than a superhero one. Felicity joked about his possible superhero movie and Oliver stood up to leave.

That's when the awkwardness occurred, Oliver was hesitating on hugging her, Felicity was, as always, clueless so at the end Oliver raised his hand and mumbled a "Bye," and left.

Felicity set her alarm to 7 am and hit the bed.

_Beep-beep-beep._

Felicity fluttered her eyes open and immediately put her arm on them, "Damn it, this was a bad idea." She turned the alarm off and rolled out of the bed, hitting the shower after the toilet. She planned her day thoroughly in there, decided on her breakfast and left the shower smelling like lavender and vanilla.

Putting on the outfit she had selected last night she hummed under her breath, spinning as she made her way to her closet. She was in a good mood for the first time in a long time and had every intention of cherishing that. She wore her pants and put on her shirt, she stood away from her skirts and dresses considering the weight she lost. She had to put on a belt but no one had to see that so she put on her black ankle boots with the same joy and moved over to doing her hair.

She left the house with a very nice breakfast and a better hair, she let it fall on her shoulders in loose curls. She went to work with the SUV, she would ask for a lift from someone in the team anyways. She stopped by to get a coffee for Oliver and Diggle with herself and for the first time over a month she went to QC.

Her happiness started to fade away as soon as she got inside, she could sense the judgemental eyes on herself, worse she could see them. She took a deeper breath and kept walking towards the executive elevator. Amanda, Miss Rochev's assistant who was just as charming as Isabel fake whispered to her friend as they walked past her, "Didn't she get fired?"

Closing her eyes in irritation she reached the elevators and pressed the button, tapping her foot as she waited. When the doors opened one of the board members' assistant came out of there with an old men with her side and she said "Wasn't she pregnant?" as she leaned into the men and threw her a confused look.

Felicity stared to the elevator agape for a second before shaking her head and getting into the steel car. She stabbed the button to shut the doors after she pressed for Oliver's office. She tried to think of any kind of surprises she could face but there wasn't anything that came to her mind. Oliver hadn't hired another assistant, she had checked for it as soon as she got her computer back, her status on QC. She was still listed as his EA, she guessed that John was helping him and he was making extra efforts but she had guessed wrong.

She went over to her desk and placed the coffees on the it, pushing her bag under her table and hanging her coat at the back of her chair. She started her computer and looked around for any appointments set by Oliver but it was empty. His schedule had been empty for over a month. What?

Elevator dinged and she raised her head to see Oliver but it was Rochev. Felicity murmured, "Damn it," under her breath. Isabel approached to her desk with her resting unpleased face and stood right in front of her, Felicity wanted to stand up and reach her eye level but she was concerned that Isabel would take it as a gesture of respect which was so not the case.

"Miss Smoak?" Isabel asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes?"

"If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing here?"

"I kind of do mind you asking." Felicity answered with a sad smile.

"What are you doing here, Felicity?" Rochev asked with a growl, they were well past the work attire but Felicity didn't play the dumb.

"I'm back on my job, Miss Rochev."

"He told me he fired you," Isabel said with a huff, "Can't believe he lied to me."

Felicity was mortified for a moment, her insides crushed into little pieces, her heart torn into dribs and drabs. But Felicity didn't back down, if Rochev detected her weakness she would pounce on it, "Well, I'm back." she answered lightly.

Rochev turned on her heel and left. Felicity took a deep breath but it didn't do anything for her. This day felt almost as bad as the day she left. This place was her personal hell, Felicity closed her eyes in resignation, biting the inside of her lower lip. Her head fell on her palms, her elbows rested on the glass surface.

Finally she left her chair and went to the bathroom Oliver owned. She shut the door and locked after herself, letting her forehead fall on the door. "_Oliver firing me?" _she thought. How dared he? She had left the city because of him, she was at her worst because he had destroyed her self-confidence, he had made her live the pain of unrequited love and he had ignored that pain.

She banged her head on the door a few times. She was not going to cry. She refused to cry on her first day back at QC. Her first day at QC... The one she received no invitation for. Oliver never asked her to come back. Maybe, even if it made no sense, Oliver had actually told people he had fired her. Her brain protested, _"Are you stupid Felicity? Diggle would leave Oliver limbless if he dared to say something like that." _

Pulling herself back together Felicity left the bathroom and took furious steps to her desk, she was about to explode. Nothing went well since she came back and she was sick of it. She saw Diggle and Oliver standing side by side staring at her desk. They both turned to her when the sound of her heels let them know she was approaching. Both had a perplexed expression on their face.

Felicity shot them a pleased smile however much it was fake and went behind the desk, facing them. She handed Diggle his coffee, "This is yours."

Diggle took a sip and flashed her an "I'm approving this move" smile. She stretched out her hand to Oliver holding his coffee, Oliver reached to take it from her but she pulled it away last second.

"Why does people think I'm fired?"

Diggle turned and walked away immediately. Oliver stood frozen, blinking, "Don't try to lie to me, Oliver. At least cover your 'I'm trying to find a lie' face!"

He cleared his throat, "Felicty, uhh-"

"Why does Isabel come here and asks me in person what the hell am I doing coming to work? I checked your schedule and there isn't one entry after the day I left."

"I didn't get another assistant."

"I know I also checked the company records, I am still the EA. So explain why Rochev thinks I'm fired."

"I, kind of told her.." He trailed.

"You did WHAT?" Felicity screamed. Her voice echoed on the walls, if they kept like that security would pay them a visit.

"I had to. She was going crazy again and forcing me to the fucking board meetings and things. There was an investor, I was about to say you took a leave of absence but Isabel said, 'Oliver fired her, have you met her?' and I had to keep up with it because of the investor. After the meeting she was all happy and less hostile and she asked if I actually did fire you, I nodded and she was nice after that. She didn't even comment on me not getting a new secretary."

"New secretary?" Felicity laughed hysterically, nodding even though she was seething, Oliver could swear if it was possible Felicity would breath fire right in that moment, "I was your secretary and I got fired, okay. Well, get this."

She roared, "I quit!"

She threw the coffee away, it hit the floor and a splashing sound came from it. Felicity didn't turn and look at it, she only grabbed her bag and jacket storming away from him in a blur of blond curls and and curses. Diggle was watching from his safe spot and he pitied Oliver, even though what he did was a total dick move, he still loved his friend and he looked so regretful and broken and, oh, he looked so _tired, _Diggle actually felt sorry for him.

A second later Oliver received a message, it was from Felicity and his heart didn't feel as heavy as it did a second ago, _"Where is the Sebastian Blood files?"_

"Oh shit," he muttered. He had gotten them from Laurel before he went to Felicity._ "At the foundry." _He texted back.

"What?" Diggle asked.

"Felicity asked for the Sebastian Blood files and it's in the foundry."

"So?"

"So, uhh, Sebastian is innocent."

"Wait, wait-wait. Are you telling me all of that shit was for nothing?"

Oliver didn't even dare to nod he just looked down to his feet, Diggle chuckled, Oliver's head snapped up to look at him. Diggle kept laughing.

"Oliver I won't even try to make you understand how stupid you are or how Felicity got hurt because you believed anything that mighty Laurel said. You know why? Because Felicity will say enough, trust me on that." Diggle shook his head in amusement and pulled out his phone to text Sara and Roy.

A few minutes later Oliver's phone buzzed and he saw a text from Roy, _"Dude, you are so fucked."_

The day went by the way it always did, investors came in, Rochev came in but Oliver paid no attention. After a lunch inside the office, chinese with financial reports he stared for a full hour, he got into a meeting. After 2 hours of dull conversation his phone buzzed. He saw Sara's name on the screen and excused himself to read the message.

_"Foundry, ASAP."_

He came back to the man and told him it was a family emergency, he would possibly lose that investor but he didn't care, he was so damn boring Oliver was about to demand his funds because he listened to the man for 2 straight hours. When he was out of the conference room he saw Diggle holding the elevator, apparently Sara had texted Diggle too, he got in and they rushed to the foundry.

Oliver knew what Diggle was thinking, if there was an attack, if there was an attack and Felicity got hurt before Roy and Sara died they would be carrying some team members to the hospital other than Felicity. He took his tie and jacket off, opening the first two buttons of his dress shirt, if the lair was compromised he needed to be out of that stupid tie. After parking in front of the Verdant Oliver ran inside with Diggle. They rushed down the stairs to find everyone uninjured but the air tense.

Sara and Roy were leaning to the table he kept his arrows on, arms crossed and faces looking completely terrified. One of them was a professional assassin, the other one was injected with Mirakuru and not one of them made a sound.

After getting on the bad side of Felicity more than once since she returned, she looked up to Sara for assuring, Sara sighed, her mouth curled downwards in a 'I don't know Ollie' way but Roy was shaking his head frantically.

Pressing his lips tight together and taking a deep breath from his nose Oliver approached Felicity who was pacing next to her computers mindlessly, like she was in a parallel universe and her figure was stuck on taking 5 steps south, spinning and 5 steps north this time. Diggle took his place next to Sara, crossing his arms and sealing his mouth shut for any circumstances ever.

"Felicity?" She looked up at him for brief moment after turning her back to him and took another step, "What happened?" He tried again.

"Funny you ask, Oliver."

Felicity went over to her computer, pressing a few buttons. Diggle turned to Sara and Roy to understand and Sara gave him a 'shit is about to go down' face while Roy was shaking his hand next to his throat with a bitter face, giving him the international sign of death. _'Ohh boy' _Diggle thought.

"Listen carefully, Oliver, really carefully."

Oliver heard the voice of Laurel, _"Hello."_

He knew Felicity had a habit of keeping the phone calls recorded and there where times it was incredibly helpful but this time, as soon as he heard Laurel's voice, he was cursing to technology. He didn't remember to breathe as he listened to the rest of the conversation.

_"Yes, Laurel,"_ Felicity answered.

_"Where is Arrow?"_ Laurel asked dismissively.

_"He's out."_

_"Where?"_

_"He's out, Laurel."_

_"He promised me help with the Sebastian Blood case."_

_"And you received it, last night."_ Felicity reminded her with polite voice, as polite as she could be.

_"He promised me, last night."_ Laurel answered mocking.

Felicity kept quiet for a few seconds. Then cleared her throat and back to silence.

_"Felicity?"_ Laurel tried again.

_"I'll make sure he returns to you."_ Felicity said and shut the phone.

Her tone was downright scary in the last sentence and he thought about when this day would end if it ever did. Not one thing went right since she came back to the city, not one goddamn thing. Worst part was none of it was her fault. It all came down to him at the end, he loathed himself with everything he got.

"Am I even supposed to ask for an explanation? For any of it, Oliver. I am sick of fighting with you."

"Felicity, I'm sorry."

"What is your reason for hurting me SO much?" Her voiced cracked and her eyes filled tears. _'Typical'_ she thought, _'__That's how I get, every time.'_

"I don't want to-" Everyone in the room turned to the sound.

_The Arrow_ phone was still connected to Felicity's computer and Laurel's face was on the screen. Felicity couldn't help but face palm. She scowled out a laugh, her hands raised up in frustration, "This is a joke right? Someone set this up?"

Oliver was fuming now, he closed his eyes for a brief moment but the damn thing kept ringing so he went over to the desk, he ripped the phone free from the USB cable and smashed it to the wall.

Felicity turned to the sound and looked at him a second later, only to see him take one of her screens and send it flying across the room to hit the wall right where the phone did.

"Oliver st-" Before Felicity could finish her sentence, Oliver's fist contacted the glass table and the next thing they knew was chunks of glass flying around.

Felicity didn't fall back, she went straight to Oliver and threw her palm to his cheek. She slapped him. Felicity slapped him so hard his face turned to the other side. She was crying and sputtering the words the next second.

"What did you do? What the hell did you just do?"

She stormed away from him but she stopped cold in front of his bow, rest of the team was thankful they were blocking the arrows. She took the bow and turned to Oliver who was watching her intensely.

"I.. I bought you a.. custom made bow!" She spat, "and you just destroyed my computers." She finished, her voice was weak and tears were all over her face.

She placed the bow in its place again, everyone knew it would be so much better if she was more angry than she was hurt, it would be so much better if she just slammed the bow to the ground and smashed it with her heel.

But she was Felicity Smoak.

She left the foundry crying.

* * *

Someone asked for some happiness at AO3 so I thought, why the hell not?

But then this happened...


	10. Welcome Aboard Miss Smoak

Glad you liked the chapter because I had a blast writing it. Specially the end and the domestication skills.

**Also important thing, **I updated the **polyvore** now you can see what **Felicity** wore in every chapter but not only her, you can see what **Maeve** wore and even the scene with **Waller.** Go to my profile and click the link, it'll take you straight to the collections, choose the chapter you want to see and enjoy.

_Did someone say Felicity is getting a new job?_

* * *

Oliver just stood there, looking after Felicity as she stormed out of the lair. He could barely observe that Sara, Diggle and Roy following her. He lowered himself to the ground and pulled his knees to himself.

He was alright for a few more moments but his mind was a dark, self destructive place, that brought bad memories back, sometimes just to fuck things up further and this was one of those times. Her voice burned his ears, echoed in his brain. He didn't want to analyze his stupidity, he just didn't.

Because how could he? He had been an asshole for so long, any kind of negative show emotion he had, seemed like it was on purpose, and it was frustrating to say the least, but the naked truth was that, he was hurt. He was torn apart, he had been in that shape for long and he had learned to live with it until Felicity came along. She put the pieces back together, she fixed him and that was what she did, she fixed. She made it better, she offered a chance, another way, a new perspective, she put in some freshness and lightness to it.

But this time, it was the worst. He always thought the island his crucible, he always thought that was how far it went and that was it. Nothing worse would happen and even the leveling of the Glades or losing Tommy was worse. But this, this was a new thing and it was insufferable.

He had stopped breathing after he died at the Gambit. And he didn't take a breath, not for 5 years, not until he met Felicity in that bright blue room with her pink lipstick and low pony tail and glasses. Calling him Mr. Queen and babbling until she reached to the point of counting back from the conversation. He wanted to smile at the memory but he couldn't because he was closer to her in that moment, more than he was now. And it hurt, it burned through his veins and left a throbbing choking sense at his throat.

He couldn't help it, he couldn't stop his anger after her return. He was afraid he would hurt her again, he was afraid she would pull away, he was afraid she would just leave again. This time not temporary. He was so afraid he was blinded by it. He was hurt, he was broken, he felt humiliated even. Felicity never tried to push him away before, she never said get out of my sight to him, she never said we won't talk about this until I say so, she was never bitter. And it hurt. Oh god did it hurt.

His heart felt like it was being ripped out of it's cage, it wasn't a sharp pain, it was a sense, spreading and taking over his body and it wasn't like he couldn't move or talk or anything. He could function but he couldn't at the same time. It was bugging, it was a flip of a stomach, it was the shiver that took over him for only a split second, it was the sudden appearance of tears on his eyes and the crawling at his throat.

And Oliver Queen was not a crier, he was a holder. He would wrap his arms around someone and let the comfort that radiated of off him surround them. It was what he did, he never had a back-up plan because he never felt like that. He always had Felicity, he had Felicity the second time he went to the island, he had Felicity when people made fun of him and looked down at him at QC and he had Felicity when he desperately tried to learn the things he missed, he had her at every soul sucking part of his life to make it better. He had her whenever he was happy, whenever he was smiling it was Felicity.

Because that was her function. Before her, the foundry had nothing, cables and dim lighting and all the brooding and sulking. Then she walked in with her heels and purple blouse stained with his blood all over. Turning in the chair, looking a bit concerned but totally not regretful after she updated his system.

And now, it was her own blood that stained her clothes. There were no playful lips and quirky babbles and there was no one to sit on the chair now. It was filled with pieces of glass anyways, and there were no systems to set up, or fire walls to upgrade, there was nothing left of it. And it hurt.

He turned to his right, looking up to the pieces of her personality crumbled, wires sticking out of it and his eyes teared up. He let them fall, he didn't reach to wipe them away he didn't even blink, because there was that thing again, not letting him function, not even letting him survive.

Worst part of all was that he didn't know how to get out of this, he just knew he needed to be better.

* * *

Felicity easily got rid of Sara, Diggle and Roy. She went drove home, borrowing yet another car from the club since her things were at the lair. He reached home, looking around numbly, standing in front of her closed door, leaning and pressing her back to it.

She had absolutely no idea what would happen, she didn't have a job and her savings wouldn't hold her much longer. She wouldn't take money from Oliver because she worked at the lair and there was no way in hell she would go back to QC.

Maybe she would actually programme some stuff and sell it, although the last time she did that it got her injured. Sighing she went over to her bedroom and changed into a pair of floral penny trousers, putting an old khaki tank top and a blanket wrap she had bought in college and clung to it like it was life itself over the years. Realizing that she even left her phone at the foundry she looked around feeling empty.

She had done a good job ignoring the incident till that moment but now that she thought about it, it got away from her. She knew by now that the only thing she could do at that point to try to stay rational, what happened had happened. There was no going back, no changing it. Fixing it, maybe but it wouldn't be forgotten, ever.

Then as she grabbed the mug to get some hot chocolate she saw everything from Diggle's eyes. He had seen Oliver breaking down, Felicity hadn't ignored that and she didn't feel proud of it either. She knew she caused just as much pain as she received but she had been treated the way she didn't deserve and at those times she didn't have an insightful mind, what was his excuse? Horniness?

Just as she reached the living room her phone rang and she changed her course from her couch to the phone, "Hello?"

"Miss Smoak. You alright?" Detective Lance sounded like he was relieved.

"Yeah, why?"

"Laurel called saying that she couldn't reach Arrow's phone, I also tried your number but you didn't answer so I thought I'd call here."

"I left my phone at the foundry, I know. But I'm too tired to go there and get it so, yeah."

Lance laughed at that, "Haven't seen you around in a while, you alright kiddo?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I was in Chicago for the last month." She answered, not even realizing the bitterness in her voice.

"Sounds like not fun at all. So, what'd you say we make this into a lunch?"

"Sure, works for me."

"Meet you at, say 1 pm?"

"Yeah, I'm free, I quit you know.." She trailed off.

"Yes, yes I've heard. Did the Queen guy treat you bad cause I can find a way to cause some problem to-"

"No, no need. It wasn't him I just don't want to be an EA anymore. I helped him enough, he can manage the rest by himself."

"Looks like you need a job, shall I make some calls?"

"Not right now, I'll look through myself but we'll talk it over lunch."

"Yeah, yeah. Good night Miss Smoak."

"Good night, Detective."

Felicity pursed her lips to the phone, she was unemployed, Felicity Smoak would never be unemployed, she was feeling annoyed by the turn of events and she felt like things needed to be put in order. And she would think it over a bowl of soft ice cream.

* * *

Oliver raised to his feet and grabbed the broom and swiped the floors, he had a feeling Felicity wouldn't like to see her old computers so he put them at the back but he didn't throw them away. In that case, it was possible to see Felicity physically attacking him.

He was just finishing with the foundry when Sara came downstairs again, "Ollie?"

He walked to the front to see Sara looking tense and uncomfortable. She sighed, "I just wanted to grab her things," She said with a soft smile.

"Yeah, sure." He just waved his hand around and Sara collected Felicity's bag and coat, leaving the foundry with a sad glance at Oliver's back who was putting the lair together again.

She knocked on Felicity's door, bike parked in front of her apartment. Felicity opened the door in the cutest outfit Sara had seen on her and a phone on her ear. She motioned her inside turning to go back to her living room, seeming to be in a very important phone call.

"Yes... I will... What? I- Hey, look, I never said yes... We will talk it over tomorrow then... 3 pm? Works for me... Right, I'll be there." Felicity ended the call and looked at Sara.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Brought you your things from the foundry, who were you talking to?"

"Uh, I really shouldn't tell you before it comes clear. But, I also talked to your dad." Felicity said sitting on the couch and putting her feet on the table as she reached for the spoon and the ice-cream.

"Yeah, why?" Sara wasn't in sight and when she came back, she had a spoon for herself, she sat next to Felicity and took the ice cream from her hands and placed it on her lap, taking a spoonful.

"He was worried about me, we're going for lunch tomorrow."

"That's good news, say hi from me." Sara said.

"Will do."

"So, what're you gonna do?" Sara started with a mouth full of ice cream.

"About what?" Felicity answered still watching the TV.

"You job? The foundry? Oliver? Anything?" Sara pressed.

"I'm working on things." Felicity turned to her and answered easily.

"What things?" This time Felicity looked at her sharply and took the ice cream from her, filling her mouth with it and ignoring the brain freeze as much as she could.

"Sara!"

"What? I'm looking out for you, what are you gonna do? What do you plan on?"

"I'm getting a new job, I'm finding someone to be Oliver's assistant."

"What about the computer for the foundry?"

Felicity smiled smugly, "I got that covered."

Sara narrowed her eyes, "What does that face mean?"

Felicity ducked her head proudly, "It means, I got it covered, Sara."

"This has something to do with your phone call?"

"Are you going Black Widow on me?" Felicity asked, eyes wide.

"I'm going Sara Lance on you," Sara replied with a sudden sultry look that was on for a split second, making Felicity laugh.

"Yes, it has something to do with it, but I can't answer it yet."

"Fine," Sara gave up.

* * *

Felicity woke up at 9, getting a quick breakfast she took out her equipment and set on dyeing her hair. Her roots were visible and it wasn't pleasing. She was straightening her wavy hair at around 11 and picking her outfit. It was one of those days where sun was visible but it wasn't doing much. It was the end of February and Starling was still cold, but not snowy.

She picked out a dark teal lacy dress, pulling ankle booties with golden heels and a daring lipstick. Her favorite pack rings were on, silvery elegant feather earrings and a black coat completed her look and she laid the combination on her bed. She moved over to doing her make up until it was the definition of perfect, today was important and it had to go as perfect as her make up was.

Half an hour before their lunch date, Felicity left her house, feeling ten times prettier than the last time she felt pretty. She had worn a dress but her weight loss didn't bother one bit. Her legs didn't look that bad for starters and she didn't care if they did. She didn't necessarily liked the way she looked but she wasn't going to bitch and moan about it either. her lifestyle was made out of take out and wine already, eventually she would gain back what she lost.

She sat at the bistro near the police station, it was Quentin and Felicity hot spot. They always ate in there or exchanged information for that matter. Minutes later, Lance parked his now not so incognito police car in front of the place and waved to Felicity who was behind the glass wall, waiting for him. Her coat was dangling from her high chair, just like her purse did and she was waiting with a coffee set out in front of her.

Lance entered and greeted the owner, making his way to Felicity, he leaned in to peck her cheeks, his hand rubbing her back in affirmation, "Hi, Detective." Felicity said as she kissed him back and smiled.

"Hello, Miss Smoak. Still calling me detective, huh?"

"You're still calling me Miss Smoak so it is only fair."

Lance chuckled and Felicity laughed in return too. Waiter came over to them, knowing that these two already had the menu memorized and knew what they wanted to eat. Lance answered before the guy even asked, "I'll have some tomato soup and toast with it."

"Drink, sir?"

"Water is good." Lance answered, Felicity's eyebrows raised but her questions stopped short on her tongue when the waiter turned to them.

"And what can I get you, Ma'am?"

"Pasta with bolognese sauce, also mineral water."

"Anything else?"

"No, thank you," Felicity answered kindly.

"No, thanks a lot, kid." Quentin replied after her and the waiter left.

"So, what are you up to these days?" Felicity asked, rubbing her palms together in front of her face and resting her chin lips on them.

"Nothing new, writing tickets. You are the one with the news, Miss Smoak. Haven't seen you around a while, gossip says you were fired or pregnant which was both suspicious, then you come back and say you quit. Now I see you with an outfit that is way much for our little get together, spill now."

"I left and went to Chicago."

"On a mission?"

"No, not on a mission. I, uh, kinda left." She said again, letting out a strangled breath at the end. Lance seemed to understand it because he nodded.

"Problem with our mutual friend?"

"Sort of."

"Sorry to hear that, anything I can help with?"

"No, no need really." Felicity shoulders slumped down by the heavy subject and Lance changed it.

"So, how 'bout that job? Shall I make some calls, let people know you're in the market?"

"I'm going in for an interview now, if nothing comes out of it, I'll let you put the word out."

"Who you gonna work for?"

"Can't tell you."

"Ah, I'm not the only who knows about your tech abilities huh?"

Felicity tilted her head and laughed, "I have a few nice offers. Oh, also, Sara says hi."

"Is she around?"

"You know sometimes."

"She was around when you broke into the old storage for files Laurel was looking for, wasn't she? Serena?"

"Yeah, well, she is around but she has her hands full."

"Oh, I know but you have yours fuller. I heard about the concussion you know."

"How do you always know these things?"

"I have intel," He joked.

Their food arrived a couple of minutes later, Felicity done with her coffee by then. They ate in comfortable chit-chat and occasional joking. Quentin Lance wasn't what he was a few years ago and Felicity was glad he wasn't because, he was, sort of a father figure in her life, even though she tried not to think that because it would hurt way too much but he was. Like Sara was a sister, grilling her about information and looking out for her, most of the time annoying the seven hells out of her.

After they were finished with the meal, Felicity reached for her purse, "No, Miss Smoak. You're unemployed, what kind of a person I'd be if I let you pay the bill?" He said lightly, stopping her.

"I'll get back to you on that, Detective." She answered playfully and they left the bistro after paying the bill and tipping the waiter generously, it was their place in the end.

"So, shall I give you a lift? Can't see your red mini around."

"I came with the SUV."

"Oh, should I ask where it came from?"

"Borrowed from our mutual friend."

Lance nodded, and pulled Felicity for a quick hug, "Take care of yourself Miss Smoak, and don't disappear on me again. Do you know the increase at crime?"

Felicity chuckled and nodded, "Yeah, I took a peek."

"They couldn't function without you," Lance said as he walked Felicity to her car and closed the door for her.

Felicity nodded and smiled again, starting the engine and driving to her appointment. It was in 40 minutes and she had no rush.

It made her a bit nervous, going in there. If she had the job, she would be half an hour away from the foundry and 40 minutes from her house. It would be just as easy as going to QC for her. But the she would do, she would need some agreements. A detailed contract for starters, and a way out of course. She prepared herself for the possible scenarios, she thought about the conditions they would offer her and expectations they'd bring to the table.

She stopped in front of the high, heavy doors and let the security check search her car, she opened the trunk for them and waited impatiently. They let her get in and she looked around as she moved slowly towards the main building, armed men were pointing out the way for her as she passed them, obvious that they were using ear pieces.

A hand was raised in front of her car and she stopped it, rolling down her window, "Yes?"

"Get out of the car Ma'am, we'll take it over now. You may proceed towards the headquarters." She nodded and got off the wheel, taking her purse form the next seat and leaving the car with the key on it. Uniformed man nodded and got her place on the car, two more men approached her and she started to walk towards the building with them at her sides.

She took the marble stairs and the door opened for her, an uniformed woman waiting for her, she guessed the process and put her purse on the table, raising her arms to let the woman search her body. It was done in a matter of seconds and the woman smiled at her.

"You coat Miss Smoak," She said softly, sincere smile still on her lips. She felt weird but took off her coat anyway, another personnel came and took her purse, grabbing her coat in his free hand.

"Follow me, please."

Felicity could only nod as the procedure left her confused and a bit anxious. After moving through endless corridors and taking turns she couldn't keep in her mind they reached an open space. Inside, there was a large conference table and multiple chairs. The man motioned her to sit, "Miss Waller will be with you shortly."

She nodded along again and took a seat, she saw that her coat was on a hanger and her purse was placed next to it, on a small coffee table. She was wringing her hands when she heard the sounds on heels, slamming to the stainless, shiny floors. Amanda Waller appeared at the entrance.

She was wearing a black and blue peplum dress that made her look like a ruler, which she was and black pumps. She was also wearing pearls and Felicity's throat went dry, she wiped her sweaty palm to her leg and stood up, Waller extended a hand and Felicity shook it.

Amanda had the calm, confident smile she always wore, Felicity saw that the dress had a little peek at her back, it was a brief little one right below her neck, it didn't reveal much but it least showed Felicity that Amanda Waller was still a women, a human being. Not a cold, scary robot who wore suits all the time.

She sat across Felicity, choosing the chair wisely and placed her hands on the table and Felicity only realized then that she had a file in her left hand she just dropped on the table.

"Afternoon, Miss Smoak."

"Hi," Felicity answered an regretted it instantly. _Hi? OMG what have I done, _she thought but Amanda wasn't phased the bit.

"I take it you won't be going back to Queen Consolidated since you are here?"

"No, I won't be going back." Felicity answered, placing her hands on the table too in order the stop wringing them.

"Shall we talk the terms of you working in here?"

"Yes, but firstly. Why do you want to hire me?"

"You are an incredible IT expert I'd like to have on my team."

"Your team, yeah, what does that team do?"

"Everything."

"But I won't be doing everything."

"Let's talk it over then. Let me list my requirements. Firstly there are things that are not open for negotiation, secrecy. Your team may know you work here that doesn't mean they'll know what you do."

"What will I do?"

"Information will be your first priority. I know that you are able to guide missions but for know, you won't be doing that since you don't know my team and in my missions there are no leaps of faith."

"Do I get to know what you will do with the information?"

"Miss Smoak, I believe you are under the impression that what we do here is something of a League. It is not. We are not taking contracts to kill people. We unite people who are not seen as, normal."

"Suicide Squad." Felicity pointed out.

"Yes, and what we do is keeping people safe. Different from your methods but while Arrow hunts down the bad guys in Starling we are a more large organization, we keep track of the human trafficking, drug and arms dealings also the political stability in this area. So I will be needing you to start with the old cases."

"Old cases?"

"The ones we couldn't crack. The servers we couldn't hack discreetly, the information we couldn't reach. It isn't that ARGUS is unable to get what it wants but we prefer to do it quietly. So I need someone who can do in-and-outs. In computers and in the field."

"Field?"

"You will be trained Miss Smoak, if you accept this job, you will not be an IT expert or a hacking genius, you will be an ARGUS agent."

Felicity blinked her eyes rapidly, what the hell was going on that ARGUS wanted to take her. But instead of wasting her time with her inner shock she decided to ask the needed questions.

"Who are your enemies?"

"We don't have enemies."

"Who are you hunting down?"

"The League."

"I won't do that. I'll choose who I'll be fighting against. That is not open for negotiation."

Amanda stopped and gazed at her, chin held high. She knew that Felicity was the only chance she had on destroying the League and she had refused. But knowing the fact that she had seen way worse cases where she made the best of it, she decided to take whatever she could so she would have time to convince her otherwise.

"Alright, but you will work with the Suicide Squad if needed and it will be needed."

Felicity raised a brow, " I've taken down some of those people, you think they will enjoy me?"

"It doesn't matter. They will respect you and cooperate with you no matter what."

"Alright." Felicity said, almost not believing herself for saying that.

"Let's talk your salary then, ARGUS is ready to offer you any kind of amount you'll be demanding."

"Money is not a problem, but one little detail, I need new computers for my other job, the former ones got damaged beyond repairing."

"Not a problem, you can take what you want in tech department, you'll be programming and setting your computer yourself here, if you desire of course."

"Yes, please. I'll take care of it. Do you have a storage or do you order?"

"We do happen to have a storage but if there's anything that would be more useful we can order too."

"May I see the storage?"

"Of course."

* * *

An hour later Felicity was leaving the headquarters, two workers carrying her satellite frequency communicator TX-50 and a new computer running XK-15 processor. She would start the next day and Amanda had requested her to bring gym clothing. She would start putting her computer tomorrow too, her salary was way more than she could hope to spend and she had her own office she was free to decorate.

She drove towards to foundry to set up her new toys, calling Roy and Sara to meet her at the entrance to help her carry them.

* * *

I'm back, who missed me?


	11. First Day

How do I wish to add a link to Polyvore here. Well, it's in da profile as you know. Ahem, weekday update. I am sick, had a bunch of blood and urine test and things so, ditched school came home and started writing. Hope you like it. Love to you all.

* * *

"Hurry!" Felicity screeched from her seat as Oliver and Diggle ran downstairs, "Bank robbery. Particularly nasty, I let Detective Lance know but Sara and Roy already left, you know how she gets with her father." She rambled as she kept scanning the screen.

Oliver instinctively opened his mouth to ask about it but they were in a rush and he had a pair of tight leather pants to put on.

10 minutes later Oliver was climbing the window to the bank, approaching the robbers from behind, Felicity of course guiding him. Then again she was basically controlling everyone in that moment. With the access to the night vision security cameras bank owned, she was informing everyone just in time, never missing a beat, never putting a member in jeopardy.

Fight was over in a matter of minutes, no one got killed nor injured. Roy had some good moves Felicity and Sara approved while Oliver and Diggle scowled, with the adrenaline still high in their blood, Felicity did what she deemed necessary and postponed the confrontation until everyone was calm.

"Hey, how 'bout some Belly Burger?"

"Works for me, but I'm gonna check on Sin first." Sara answered.

"We'll get it, race you there," Roy said teasingly.

"We'll see about that," Sara replied and Felicity saw that she deactivated her comm on her screen. Thanks to the tracking devices she could still see them, Diggle and Roy driving towards the Big Belly but Oliver straight to the Foundry. She sighed involuntarily and went to the bathroom to freshen up her lipstick, practically putting on war paint.

When she was finally out, Oliver was standing, trying to lean casually to the table he kept his arrows on but not doing very well since she could read his emotions just by looking at his thumb.

He took a deep breath before he started, "So, you're working with ARGUS now?" It was so neutral and controlled Felicity flinched, realizing that it would be better if he was openly angry.

"How do you know?"

"I called Waller today, to get you that computers you wanted, to apologize. But she told me you already got them and you got a job too."

Felicity pursed her lips, it had caught her off guard, his cautiousness and his even voice.

"What are you going to do? Should I brace myself for another tech attack?"

"Felicity, don't."

"Are you seriously not going to say anything?"

"You made a decision, Felicity, there's nothing for me to say. Don't think I'm not worried, I am. And I want to object, but what ever I say right now, it'll come out like I'm being irrational, just, straight up asshole. So, no I won't say anything."

"What if I want you to?" She rubbed her hands together as she walked towards him.

"Then I should tell you, I did work with Amanda before and I absolutely don't like that you're doing it too. The thing is, I didn't have a choice and I tried to escape every chance I got. I just want you to know that you are walking into the lion's den and I am here when you want to get out. I don't know the terms of your agreement but one thing I can grant you is that, no matter how things are between us, when you need me, I'll put an end to ARGUS, no matter what it costs."

Felicity stood dismayed for longer than a minute. He wasn't one to have speeches like that, everybody knew it. But he hadn't raised his voice, somehow he didn't need it to show his fear, his bare words were enough. And Felicity looked at him, completely blank.

She had thought that there was little to no chance that she and Oliver would recover. Just as friends let alone a relationship because the only thing she could hope was no further damage from him. She knew a mere apology wouldn't make anything better, in fact it would probably make it worst since she would feel humiliated if he believed that she needed him so much that an apology would make the difference. But this thing he did, this speech he gave her, it left her in a state.

He was letting go of the possibility of being with her, he was just making sure that she knew he would never let this go. He would never give up on her. His mistakes, the hurt he caused her, nothing was forgiven and chances are it would never be forgotten but his sole efforts made her feel something good. For the first time in months, the suffering, the drowning, the struggle, what she had felt was just a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel.

"Thank you," was all she could say and he gave her a curt nod, retracing his steps to change. But he stopped with her voice.

"Oliver," He looked at her, surrounded in green, "I'm not saying this is the making up but-"

"Felicity, to be fair, I do not expect to be forgiven. I don't expect you to stick around this basement forever or reclaim your job, even set foot in QC. It doesn't matter if you forgive me or not, I will always try to be better. I care about the way you see me, but, I can not take the risk of hurting you or anyone else around me anymore. I won't push you to make piece with me, but if you feel ready to be my friend again, I'll be here. I will always be here."

With that he left and she was glad he did. Not knowing hot to recover from his words, she just made her way to her computers and took a shaking breath, counting down the seconds to go home.

* * *

"Where did this calmness and peaceful attitude come from?" Diggle asked as Oliver reloaded his quiver, it was 2 am and that was their pastime basically.

"I am not calm, Diggle but I'm glad you thought I was."

"Note the word; attitude." He countered.

Oliver huffed at him, Diggle looking just as amused as usual, "When did letting my emotions show benefit me?"

"So that means you only feel anger? There's nothing, no emotion in you that doesn't end up hurting her?"

Oliver glared daggers at him, nodding in annoyance, going back to the night Diggle accused him of jealousy in his mind and Diggle looked even more amused.

"I'm leaving before you put an arrow in me." He patted Oliver's shoulder, "Go to bed man, it's gonna be hard at QC tomorrow."

Oliver looked at his quiver, QC, new assistant, no Felicity. He scrunched his nose at the thought of someone bringing him coffee. _'What kind of an assistant would do that?' _he thought foolishly before realizing the stupidity in it.

* * *

Felicity barely got to sleep before she woke up with a burn in her stomach. Her body had a tendency to react with stomach action to stress and anxiety. It took her a long, doubtful minute to get out of bed but in the end she did. It was a particularly rainy day, storm wasn't that cold but it was damn brutal so she couldn't think of letting her hair down.

After getting an unpleasant start to her day in the shower when she accidentally opened the cold water she moved to get a good breakfast. She wasn't much a breakfast girl thanks to Oliver, with her nights never ending she had succumbed to a life style where she took every opening to sleep.

She pulled out a top with a triangle cut over her breasts and tucked it in her black pencil skirt. It was one of her best skirts, more on the comfortable side and paired them with high heel sandals. No matter what life threw at her, Felicity Smoak would wear her stilettos, put on her hot pink lipstick and face it head on. Except training maybe, then heeled shoes didn't do much for her.

She was out of her house 30 minutes later, driving to the headquarters and stopping for coffee on the way, like she wasn't about to go into somewhere that had a Suicide Squad, like she wasn't about to go through a bunch of security checks. The sudden calmness was weird but not unwelcome.

Since they were expecting her, there wasn't much of a problem and soon she was in the building, marble floors clicking with her heels as she approached the only person familiar, Maeve.

"Hey," Felicity touched her shoulder.

Maeve turned with a grumble, "What?" Her eyes widened at the sight of Felicity, "Oh, sorry but you should probably get used to it I'm more than grumbly in the mornings, also when I'm hungry and I'm always like this."

Felicity chuckled, "I'm not taking it personal don't worry. So, first day, uhh," Felicity leaned in, "What do I do?" She whispered, causing Maeve to chuckle.

"Calm down, Waller's probably checking on people, she should be here in a few minutes then she'll introduce you and show you around. Explain the rules, how everything works."

"She's that active? Doesn't she just go into a room and, I don't know, plot?"

Maeve chuckled again, "Well, I'm pretty sure she plots but she knows this place, in and out. She hand picked everyone who works here, cooks included. A fly doesn't get inside these doors without her knowing it."

Felicity nodded in amazement but was distracted. She turned her head and came face to face with a soft looking Waller, she was proving to smile more than Felicity thought she would. She wasn't sure about the sincerity of it but it certainly made her less terrified so she was appreciative anyway.

"Good morning, Miss Smoak. Maeve, how did it go with KPMG?"

"Not bad, I'm in but it's gonna take at least a few hours to pull the data."

"Very well then, hope you'll make it to lunch. I heard they won't serve potatoes today."

"Oh thank god. I swear one day I'll strangle Trent, and it can be today. Just saying."

Amanda chuckled, "Just get me the data and I might have a word with him."

"Thank you," Maeve mouthed before she turned and rushed towards the elevator.

"Would you like your bag and coat before the tour?"

"Sure, uh, to my office?"

"Yes, follow me."

Amanda moved towards the elevator Maeve had used and pressed the button for the 12th floor. When the doors opened, it seemed like her vision had taken a blue tint. The whole floor screamed tech. She led her through a narrow corridor and Felicity looked up to the name signs next to the doors, Maeve Foley it read, right across Trent Ilbert and next to his door, her door was. Wit her name on it, Felicity Smoak.

Waller opened the door and she got in, "You can decorate your office, if you wish. After meeting the colleagues, you can start working up on your computer. Then I'll hand you the files."

Felicity dropped her bag on the desk and shrugged out of her coat, turning to look at her and only realizing the outfit of Amanda then. She had a tendency to get ready for work just as much as Felicity apparently because she couldn't remember a time where she saw Waller out of her heels. She doubted she would take them off if her life depended on it. Also the pearls. The woman carried them like royalty. Waller motioned her outside and went over to the door that read Trent.

She knocked twice before opening, "Trent, we have a new specialist. Felicity Smoak."

Felicity moved over to his desk and extended her hand over his computers, he stared at it in discomfort before shaking it lightly and pulling back. Felicity raised her brow and he looked taken aback for a moment. Lovely character he was, Felicity hated him from day one.

The trip downstairs was better, there was a cafeteria of sorts in the building for lunch but of course she was free to go out. No ordering in though, Felicity understood the reasoning. When they reached the store again, she found herself feeling like a kid in a fair. but she stopped short, turning to Waller.

"So, I get to use three monitors right?"

"Miss Smoak, this is your computer. You may use ARGUS' services freely as long as you do your job. I have other business to attend you, I am sure you can walk upstairs to get help with carrying these to your office?"

"Sure, no problem."

"Have fun." Waller shot her a smile and left her in the bright room. She walked around the shelves. Looking up processors, rams, fans, batteries. When she listed everything she wanted in her head, she went upstairs and walked over to security guards.

"Excuse me, hi. I need some help with carrying things from the storage. Do you know who could help me?"

"Sure, come on Joe." The man called out to another guy and they went towards the elevator to the storage. Nodding her head, still trying to process how, normal it was, she followed them downstairs.

* * *

"Oliver, pick one."

"I don't want to."

"It doesn't matter, pick one." Diggle pressed.

"Why can't you pick one for me, I have board meetings to attend to." Oliver tried to get up from his chair but John pushed him back on it with a hand to his chest.

"So you can blame me when you don't like your new assistant?"

"How do you know I'm not gonna like her?" Oliver countered from his seat.

"She's not Felicity, you already dislike her. Now pick." Diggle answered in a bored tone.

Oliver sighed, pointing to the screen, "Fine, that one."

Diggle eyed it and shook his head, "You literally just chose the only person who's unable to do this on that list."

"How do you know that?"

"She has no experience, Oliver."

"Felicity had no experience."

"Felicity is a genius." Diggle sighed, "You're just gonna fuck it up won't ya?"

"I want her."

"Fine, you'll be the one to fire her. I'm ordering lunch for the last time. It's from the deli at the corner and you'll eat the pickles."

"Diggle-" Oliver started, he hated pickles with every fiber of his being and he had been forced to eat pickles almost every single day since he refused to hire a new assistant or order his lunch for himself.

Diggle turned his back to him talked to the phone, chatting up with the guy before giving the order.

* * *

"I'm almost done," Felicity said without looking up to the door.

"I'm sure you are," A man said and she saw it was Trent when she raised her head.

"What's up?" She asked, turning the screwdriver between her fingers, securing the battery to its place.

"Just wanted to check in to see if I can help."

"I'm good, thanks though."

"You sure?" He pressed.

Felicity eyed him, frown settling between her brows, he kept on, "I understand being the hacker and all but the building stuff. It's not for girls, you know what I mean?"

She understood Maeve to the point of killing him, who the hell was he to make misogynistic comments in a secret corporation ruled by a woman. He had the cockiness of a high school football player.

She raised her brow, "How old are you again?"

Suddenly he looked proud, "I'm only 23." He said, with a superior tone that implied that he was the youngest in this position.

She nodded slowly, "Right. Well, you know what that means?"

"What?"

"It means that while you were busy trying to learn not to pee on yourself, I was building computers."

His jaw dropped slightly and she kept her soft expression on, "You can shut the door when you're leaving." She added with a smile and went back to her job.

After a few minutes later someone practically ripped open the door and Felicity involuntarily gripped the screwdriver tighter looking up with an alarmed face but it was only Maeve, standing in front of Felicity in a baggy, way too baggy t-shirt and combat boots.

"I love you!" She half-shouted.

"What?"

"I knew it. I knew you would be the one to put him in his place, I swear to god I have been wanting to kill him from day one. He was almost crying when he left your office. Felicity, please marry me. I need children raised by you."

"Are you doing the walk of shame?"

"Yes, that is not the point."

"It so is, I need details. Tell me about him, or her. Which one? Did I get it right at anyway?"

"Appreciate the open-mindedness but he's just a guy and he's a friend. He was a friend at least. I went over to him last night, we watched friends, Phoebe kissed Joey, you know that's what friends are for so we kissed then we fucked so hard I think I blacked out a bit after the seco-"

"Not that details! What's he like? I don't want to know about his couch, why would I want to know that. Jesus.."

"You're blushing, calm down we just had sex. I'll tell you over lunch, we gotta go."

"Already? Damn it I couldn't even finish it."

"You are building a computer from scratch and you complain about not making it to the lunch? What happened in your childhood, Felicity?"

Felicity glared at her and Maeve hooked her arm under Felicity's and added in a soft, angelic tone, "What happened, my dearest? Tell me.."

"Shut up."

Maeve chuckled as they walked towards the cafeteria, Felicity practically carrying Maeve.

* * *

Everything was going great, with Felicity finishing up the computers and placing them on her desk, starting the set up. Until Amanda knocked the door and came inside.

"Miss Smoak, may I?"

"Of course."

"How's your first day going?"

"I think anyone who doesn't like Trent loves me, he hates me though."

"Oh, I heard. Misogynistic little shit, if they didn't get along with Turner, I would've fired him now."

"Turner as in Ben Turner?"

"Yes. Unfortunately, the rare times I need the Tiger out of the cage, he works best with Trent. Which brings me to another point, you have people to meet."

"People?"

"The Squad. They are eager to meet you."

"Oh." was all Felicity could get out. Suddenly wanting to go back to QC.

"After you meet them, we'll schedule your training and I will hand you the files. Follow me, please."

"Sure." Felicity said, standing up from her chair and tracing Waller's steps, soon she was in the elevator, trying to take deep breaths in order to calm herself.

* * *

I hope you liked the Olicity moment, things are looking up finally. Hope it stays that was though, next up; 'I hate my assistant' by Oliver Queen and 'OMG that hurt' by Felicity Smoak.


End file.
